Nice Things And Why We Can't Have Them
by cherryvvoid
Summary: Some people may find living in a fantasy world to be a dream come true, but consider this: fuck Skyrim and the war horse it rode in on. Or in which a girl from our world wakes up in hell and every person who calls her Dragonborn is Satan himself. SI-OC.
1. Unbound

**Disclaimer: I don't own Skyrim.**

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Her wrists were burning.

Grunting under the pounding of her headache, Kendrick felt her muscles ache and tremble and she grimaced.

Attempting to lift her heavy lids, the girl hissed as a brightness seared into her eyes and made her flinch so hard her whole body moved. Jerking back, she threw her hands over her face and let out a little bleat when instead of flat palms cradling her head, she ended up smacking herself a good one with her balled up fists.

Groaning in half pain and half self-pity, it came as a surprise when she heard someone else speak.

"Are you okay lass?" A heavily accented voice asked and Kendrick snapped her neck up and blinked hard to dispel the bleariness in her sight.

And then she blinked some more - because there was no way in _hell_ she was sitting across from a Viking wannabe.

Scrambling back into her seat with a half startled half frightened noise that clawed itself way out of her throat, Kendrick pushed herself as far away from the man as she possibly could before her back hit something hard and she let her eyes pinball in every possible direction.

Yelping a bit as she was sent a few inches up into the air by a sharp bump, Kendrick threw a look over the side of the cart - _a fucking cart!_ \- and felt the overwhelming need to throw up as she spied the cobblestone road underneath them. Bending over she placed her head between her knees and _breathed_ \- hardly paying any mind to the attempts at comfort that the Viking lookalike was trying to force on her.

" _Where am I?_ " She squeaked out from her prone position as she tried not to shiver and shake so much. " _Where did you bring me?_ "

There was a loaded pause where the only thing she could hear was the sound of the horse clopping about and she could feel her shoulders hunch defensively.

 _Hesitation belayed guilt_ her mind hissed, _and the guilty can't be trusted._

 _Fuck she was terrified._

"We are nearing Helgen." The man said after his brief - _and potentially incriminating -_ silence and Kendrick shook her head as her grip tightened painfully in the curls of her hair.

"And where the _fuck_ is that?" She snapped, brow furrowed angrily and mouth twisted down into a frown that was hidden by her knees. "Norway? Sweden? How far are we from the U.S?"

He paused and it didn't reassure her.

 _Guilty! Guilty!_ Her mind jeered and Kendrick shivered.

"I'm afraid I don't get your meaning." He said, confusion thick in his voice and she twitched. _Violently_. "Helgen is Northeast of Falkreath, as it has always been."

Kendrick gave a harsh sigh that beat against the side of her inner calf and she started to tap her foot in time to the rapid beat of her heart.

"Fine. _Okay_." She growled, annoyance thick in her tone. "But _which_ country is Hellen-"

"Helgen."

"- _Hellen_ , in?" She hissed out as she ignored his attempt at correcting her. If he _really_ thought she gave a _fuck_ about the pronunciation of the place where she would - more than likely - be sold off as a sex slave, then he was _sadly_ mistaken.

"Well?" She gritted and after a beat, there was a shifting.

"Helgen is in Skyrim." The man said and Kendrick snorted so hard it hurt.

"Don't play with me." She muttered as the hot feeling of irritation bubbling up in her stomach turned to anger and she lifted her head from between her legs to pin him with a red-eyed glare. "That's not funny."

The man - with blond hair and blue eyes - looked baffled.

"I had not meant my words as a jest." He said as his brow furrowed in - seemingly - genuine confusion. "I have spoken nothing but the truth to you, young one."

Kendrick gave him a blank wide-eyed stare for perhaps a few moments more before it slid into skepticism and she dismissed him with a glance.

" _Yeah fucking right, Skyrim my ass_." She muttered to herself, making sure to speak quietly enough that only she would pick up on her words but sadly enough, the insane man across from her had exceptionally good hearing.

It was probably the perks of being a goddamn psychopath.

"I am telling you the _truth_." He urged to Kendrick but when he saw that she was ignoring him in favor of observing her bindings with a look of extreme discomfort, he switched tracks.

"If you do not believe me, then why don't you tell me where it is you think you are?" He said and with the narrowing of her eyes, Kendrick pursed her lips with the intent to be mulishly quiet but the stranger leaned closer with a cajoling stare.

"You might as well share," The man with the startlingly familiar accent said. "you might never get the chance to do so again."

Hunching her shoulders against the vague warning in his words - _was that a fucking threat?_ \- she wrung her fingers together as best as she could.

 _Fuck it._

"I already said it before," She spat out, fear treading on her every syllable. "we're either in Norway or Sweden but you keeping _lying_ to me and I don't know why since _you're_ a goddamn captive too."

He nodded, eyes intent on her face and Kendrick had to resist the urge to claw out his eyes.

"Aye, I am indeed a prisoner same as you - but," He paused and Kendrick felt an oncoming sense of dread. "these places you speak of are entirely unfamiliar to me."

He leaned forward with apologies shining in his gaze and she almost spit on him.

"I'm sorry." He told her with his mooning cow eyes and she twitched angrily.

 _This lying ass motherfucker was trying to play her!_

"Yeah. Okay, _sure_." She spat out hurriedly as she looked away and Kendrick felt more than heard the man move closer.

"Why don't you try again lass?" He coaxed and Kendrick set her jaw before she cut her glare at him.

"Why?" She answered scathingly as her dark eyes narrowed and flashed like flames. "So you can _lie_ to my face again?"

The man shook his head.

"Perhaps I am not as well versed in my homeland's layout as I once thought." He said placatingly as if she was the once acting crazy and she visibly bristled. "Mayhaps I'll know the next one?"

Fixing him with a judging glare, she carefully weighed the pros and cons of saying anything before she figured she had nothing to lose and Kendrick sighed.

If he was gonna hurt her, it wouldn't matter what she told him - and that thought shouldn't have been as comforting as it was in that moment.

"Finland?" Kendrick asked after some deliberation and the Viking shook his head.

"I'm unfamiliar."

Biting her lips, she tried again despite the slow tightening she could feel in her chest.

"Iceland?"

"The coldest region we have are the ones that are high in the mountains - and we don't call it _that_."

"Greenland?"

"Nothing comes to mind - sorry lass."

" _Denmark_?" She practically growled out as her frustration mounted and when she was met with a blank stare, she dug her nails into the skin of her wrists.

"Perhaps that is some city on Solstheim or Cryodiil?" He said softly as he moved even closer. "I myself am less knowledge of those parts of Nirn but I'm sure if you just-"

Kendrick gave a snarl.

Jumping at the man, she wound her bound hands into the front of his shirt and hefted him up.

"Don't play games with me!" She shrieked as her eyes burned with tears. "Stop _acting_ like you don't underst - _ah_!"

Flinching as she was cut off by a vicious yank on the collar of her sweater, she fell back into her seat with a harsh thump. Feeling fear replace her anger yet again, the young girl stared into the hard face of the soldier riding in the head of the cart and she shrank back.

" _Enough_." Was all the man said, but that was all the threat he needed to cow her into submission.

Positively rigid with terror, Kendrick clasped her hands together and gritted her teeth, lest she start sobbing and once that started she knew she wouldn't be able to stop.

"It's _obvious_ she isn't even meant to be here," A new voice snapped but Kendrick refused to budge her eyes away from the tips of her Doc Martens. "and neither am I! This is the fault of you _Stormcloaks_! Skyrim was fine until you came along, the empire was nice _and_ lazy. If they hadn't been looking for _you_ , I could've stolen that horse and been halfway to Hammerfell!"

She could feel the owner of the new voice staring at her.

"You there - _you and me_ , we shouldn't be here." He said angrily. "It's these _Stormcloaks_ the Empire wants."

"We're all brothers and sisters in binds now, thief." The Viking wannabe said and the supposed 'thief' scoffed.

"Shut up back there!" Another man from the front of the cart shouted and Kendrick jumped, inching away minutely from the barely concealed violence in the tone - and despite her being properly cowed, the thief wasn't seeing as how he _kept_ talking.

"And what's wrong with him, huh?" He sneered and across from her, the Viking man bristled in the corners of her eyes.

" _Watch your tongue_." He snapped and Kendrick started at the acid in his voice. "You're speaking to Ulfric Stormcloak, the _true_ High King."

And at those words, Kendrick jerkily looked over to her right and quickly faced forward. She didn't know what was going on but quite frankly, she didn't want to.

But that being said, this was either all a big joke or a dream from hell.

" _Ulfric_? The Jarl of Windhelm?" The thief gasped. "You're the leader of the rebellion! But if they've captured you - _Oh gods_ , where are they taking us?"

"I don't know where we're going," The Viking answered. "but Sovngarde awaits."

Wilting in on herself, Kendrick ducked her head back between her legs as she tried to fight through her hyperventilation. She wished she could place this all on a dream, she _really_ did. It was just that the pain in her body wasn't going to let that happen.

This was _real_ , the only question was - how much of it?

She supposed it could be a prank, she hadn't been hurt by anyone so far besides the ache in her wrists and all of her friends knew she liked the Elder Scrolls - which meant everything that had happened up till now made _perfect_ sense. Now if her guess was right, she only needed to play along long enough for someone to jump out and yell the fabled 'gotcha'.

And that she could do.

Huffing out noisily from her folded place, it wasn't long before the carts stopped moving and with a quiet sniffle she stood and exited the wagon.

Kendrick knew this part like the back of her hand, all she had to do was act like nothing was wrong and it would be over before she knew it.

It _had_ to end soon, her friends wouldn't torture her like this.

 _They wouldn't._

And with that thought in mind, she was patiently waiting to be called when the thief - Lokir - jumped forward with fear swirling in his eyes.

"No!" He sobbed as he broke out into a run and Kendrick nearly smiled - the man's acting as superb. "I'm not a _rebel_. You can't _do_ this!"

"Halt!" The Imperial captain called but Lokir kept going.

"You're not going to kill me!" He shouted back and Kendrick had to admit, the man was _booking_ it but when she heard the captain call for the archers she gave a confused lift of her lips.

"Haha, _what are you doing?_ " She asked the woman dressed up as the Imperial captain from a goddamn _video game_ because surely, the other actors weren't _actually_ going to _fire_ on him?

She had heard of going the extra mile for a role - hell she had done so before - but those bows were _real_ \- as in could do serious _damage_ real and just as she was about to step forward to ask again (because what were they doing? They didn't need to go so far for a _prank_ ), she heard the familiar twang of an arrow being released and Lokir fell.

Kendrick's eyes were wide as she stared at the limp body on the ground, waiting for the man to get up and call it a joke. Waiting for him to roll over and bow or hell, _something_! And she _kept_ waiting even as red spread out from under his body and the coppery tang of blood filled her nostrils.

"Oh my _god_ ," She whispered as she cupped her hands to her mouth. " _I - I think you killed him_!"

The captain turned to glare at her and she stumbled back a step.

"He was a thief and a coward to run from his earned execution." She said without a hint of remorse for the actor she had _definitely_ ordered to death and Kendrick whimpered "He _deserved_ what he got."

The woman gave her one last look before she switched her needling stare toward the others.

"Anyone _else_ feel like running?" She asked with a growl in her voice and there was only silence to answer her. "Good, that's what I _thought_."

Kendrick stayed silent and stock-still, even as the guard - Hadvar - urged her towards him.

A harsh push at the shoulder rocketed her forward and she ripped her horrified gaze away from the lax body of Lokir to stare at the Imperial soldier in front of her.

"Who are you?" He asked and she licked her lips.

"Ken - Kendrick Stark." She stuttered out as she shifted from foot to foot. "I don't belong here - I-I've done nothing I _swear_ it and if you tell me how much you're being paid I'll double - wait fuck - I'll - I'll _triple_ it."

She didn't bother to suppress the begging in her voice.

"I'll do anything so for the love of god," She damn near sobbed. " _please_ help me."

If the actor who was playing the captain would kill her co-stars then she would _sure_ as hell would kill her. She needed an _out_ and she needed it _now_.

"What are you? An Imperial?" He asked as he narrowed his eyes at her after giving a pause. "Well, either way, you aren't on the list. Captain, what should we do?"

Kendrick tensed as the woman turned to face her because there was nothing soft in the look she was being given.

"Forget the list," She told him and the way Kendrick's heart slammed into her ribcage at her next words was painful. "they _all_ go to the block."

Kendrick barely paid any mind to Hadvar's sympathetic glance - how could she when it meant that he was going to let her be murdered?

She ignored Tullius speaking as her mind raced because she had more important things to do than to listen to some pillard call Ulfric out.

If Kendrick was to go after the first victim then she would be on the block when Alduin was supposed to attack and that's where this joke _had_ to end. Her friends didn't have the money _or_ resources to fake a fucking _dragon_ attack! Or even a beheading! And perhaps the actor playing Lokir wasn't even _really_ dead! A shot wound could be faked, Kendrick had done it tons of times in theater! Not to mention, surely they had scared her enough for today and once they jumped out of the bushes screaming about how gullible Kendrick was, she would laugh and smile with them.

 _This was all gonna work out, all she had to do was play along_.

And as she heard the distant rumbling of a dragon's growl, Kendrick gave a hysterical giggle as she thought of how much money her friends had dropped on sound effects.

 _How wild._

Watching as the Stormcloak soldier went to kneel at the chopping block, Kendrick smiled as she glanced around in wait for her friends to shout out at her.

And she waited.

And waited.

And _waited_ until a sick sound of metal on stone met her ears and she gave a muffled scream of terror because - _oh god oh god that man was missing his fucking head!_

"Next, the Imperial!" The captain shouted and with a belated shock, Kendrick realized that was supposed to be her.

 _Play along Ken_ , she thought to herself as she almost choked on her sob, _play along and it'll be over soon!_

Her friends _won_! This was a good joke but now she only wanted to go _home_!

Forced to kneel even as she struggled and shouted, she gagged on a scream as the feeling of the sticky red fluid covering the neck rest rubbed against her throat.

And as tears burned a path down her cheeks, Kendrick realized two very important things.

The first being that this was not a joke that was cleverly devised by her friends in order to get one over on her because some things couldn't be faked and _this_ situation was one of them.

And the second being that there was a giant black dragon sitting atop the tower to her left and it was very, _very_ angry.

Which was why Kendrick had to scream because _holy fucking shit_ she was in Skyrim and soon, she'd be in a _goddamn_ coffin as well.

* * *

 **Here's my new SI-OC into Elder Scrolls. Kendrick is 17 and is actually based off of my own personality for once.** **Please review and enjoy.**

* * *

 **Edit: 6/17/17**


	2. Unfettered

Kendrick was frozen even as the roar pushed her to the ground and rattled her brain.

Her ears were ringing and she felt absolutely sick to her stomach. She gave a chest heaving sob as she realized that there was no way in _hell_ she would be able to move with the amount of terror seeped into her muscles, so naturally, it came as a surprise when she felt a hand clutch her elbow and yank her up.

Stumbling blindly, Kendrick yelped when her knees struck the hard stone beneath her as she tried to keep up with the sprinting Ralof.

" _Get up_!" The Viking shouted over the screams and wails of terror. "Come on, the gods won't give us another chance!"

Huffing in a breath, Kendrick pulled her feet beneath her as she practically _flew_ into the watchtower.

Forearms braced on her knees as she struggled to pull in a panicked puff of air, the young girl absently rubbed at the purpling of the brown skin at her wrists as she listened to Ralof converse with his traitor boss.

"Jarl Ulfric!" The man positively yelped. "What is that thing? Could the legends be true?"

The hard look the tall bear of a man sent his underling was quelling and Kendrick was glad he was paying her no mind. She didn't need _that_ bullshit on top of _this_ bullshit.

"Legends don't burn down villages." He stated just as another roar rocked the world. "We need to move. _Now_!"

Ralof gave a quick look around.

"Up through the tower," He ordered and Kendrick shrunk back as she remembered _exactly_ what was going to happen. "let's go!"

Jerking forward at the last second as she beat back her indecision, she caught onto Ralof's arm and pulled him back.

"Wait!" She positively shrieked as her wild eyes peered up at the stairs. "Don't go yet! You _can't_!"

A Stormcloak soldier up front sent her a disgusted look at her outburst as he moved higher up the steps and she hunched in on herself at the attention.

"Keep calm lass!" He grunted out as he ventured further up. "We have to keep moving else we'll all be doomed!"

Heart caught in her throat because this dumbass would rather die than listen to her, she lunged past Ralof and gripped hard on the soldier's legs, throwing him off balance and he hit the stairs with a hard clack.

"For Talos' sake!" The man roared as his face twisted in rage and she flinched back violently. "Lass _get_ -"

And suddenly there was fire filling the room, hot enough to send little pinpricks of pain through her nerve endings and she screamed. Falling back she didn't bother to try and stop the tears that sprung to her eyes at the feeling of hard stone pieces pelting her body, but she _did_ try to keep quiet.

The last thing she wanted was to bring Alduin back because of her loud sobbing.

Laying on the ground with her face in her arms, she looked up as soon as the heat subsided and she resisted the urge to throw up all over herself.

"Lass," The Stormcloak she had saved rumbled out after the room had fallen quiet but Kendrick didn't spare him a glance. "lass, how did you kn-"

"We must keep moving." Ulfric cut in before the man could finish and Kendrick looked up in time to catch his accessing gaze to which she wilted away from because if there was anyone whose ideology scared her, it was his. "There isn't much time before that dragon comes back."

Once again dragged to her feet by Ralof, the dark haired girl staggered up the steps as they neared the hole in the stone wall.

"See the inn on the other side?" Ralof explained as she peered fearfully through the destroyed ceiling. "Jump through the roof and keep going! Go! We'll follow when we can!"

Snatching onto his sleeve once again, Kendrick held out her wrists to him insistently.

" _You gotta untie me first_." She gasped out as she flexed her fingers. "I need to be able to - _fuck_ \- to use my hands to keep my balance or I'll hurt myself."

Watching Ralof nod as he looked over to his companions and asked for a blade, he cut her free.

"We'll catch up with you." He said. "Now _hurry_!"

And so quickly before more fear could worm its way into her chest, Kendrick leaped - and nearly cried in relief when the only damage that came to her was a few splinters.

Shrugging herself up through _sheer willpower_ alone, she wobbled towards the stairs and down to a destroyed Helgen.

Her wide dark eyes took in everything from the burning buildings to the harried soldiers mish-mashing in the terrible chaos and Kendrick _didn't know what to do_. Her tear bidden gaze snagged onto the crimson dyed stone road and she was struck speechless at the heaps upon heaps of dead and nearly so bodies that were littering the streets.

 _She had never seen more than one corpse before._

Bile crawled its way up her throat as the scent of burning flesh reached her nostrils and without preamble, Kendrick bent over and vomited. Sucking in a breath after her stomach emptied itself, Kendrick looked up at the sound of Hadvar's voice just in time to see an Imperial man die under the pressure of Alduin's shout and she threw up.

 _Again_.

 _She was gonna fucking die here, wasn't she?_

" _Gods_!" Hadvar swore as his eyes met hers and he looked shocked and then determined.

"Still alive, prisoner?" He asked her and she jerked back at his use of incorrect terminology. "Keep close to me if you want to stay that way."

He turned to view the man a few feet away from him.

"Gunnar, take care of the boy." He called. "I have to find General Tullius and join their defense!"

"Gods guide you, Hadvar." Gunnar said and the Imperial man who ordered her to death nodded before taking off, and after a second Kendrick followed.

Nearly falling down some steps, she flinched as she saw a shadow dip overhead and she jumped closer to Hadvar.

"Stay close to the wall!" He ordered just as Alduin - _the son of Akatosh, the goddamn World Eater_ \- landed above them and all at once, her heart stopped for a few painful beats.

The game didn't manage to properly illustrate just how _gargantuan_ the dragon god truly was, and distantly Kendrick noted this as a disservice.

What use was pregame knowledge if it didn't do her any good in situations like _this_?

" _Yol_... _Toor_... _Shul_!" The beast growled out and with the fury of a thousand wronged gods, fire rained down on Helgen.

Clamping her hands down on her mouth to stop her from screaming her head off, Kendrick instead let out a muffled screech.

Screwing her eyes shut until she could hear the telling sound of flapping wings, the young girl pushed herself off of the wall and practically flew across the ground - ignoring Hadvar's shouts for her to wait for him.

Eyes darting around she spied the door to the keep and with a cry of relief, she threw it open and closed behind her.

Wiping away the fat tears clinging to her eyelashes and rolling down her face, Kendrick ignored the ragged half sobs that fell from her lips as she hurriedly looked about the room because if she was about to go _traipsing_ about this _godforsaken_ keep then she needed protection at the very _least_.

 _Armor_ , she thought to herself as she started her search and blinked the tears out of her eyes. _I need armor and I need it now._

Pulling open all four boxes in the room, she ignored the Imperial uniform and instead focused on the nondescript black leather and cloth ensemble. She didn't want to run into any Stormcloaks and have the poor bastards think she was an Imperial or vice versa and distantly she wondered why she couldn't have put on this when playing the game. It would have saved her a lot of sweat and tears.

Unlacing her calf high boots - with mounting frustration, god why won't these _loosen_ already! - she tugged on the light leather pants over her skinny jeans and took off her sweater to put the chest armor over her torso.

She had given the clothes a cursory whiff before hand and she was pleased and relieved to note that these were fucking clean.

Praise the Lord for small mercies.

Pulling back on her dark turtleneck over her armor and her boots back on her feet, Kendrick peered back into the box and reached past the swords to grab the quiver and bow. Slinging pack of arrow across her shoulder, she thanked small miracles because _this_ , she could use.

Back in middle school, Kendrick had been good at archery - as in good enough to enter competitions and actually _place_ most of the time. And despite not having picked up a bow in about two to three years, muscle memory wasn't anything to underestimate.

Taking a deep breath, she quickly notched an arrow, aimed it at the wooden door to her left, and let out a tiny sniffle of relief when it struck exactly where she had aimed.

"I'm _not_ going to die here," She murmured to herself as tears that never actually stopped began to reblur her vision. "I can _protect_ myself so I'm _not_ going to _fucking_ _die_ here."

The sound of the door opening drew her away from her thoughts and she gasped, hand quickly fishing for an arrow before she realized that it was only Hadvar.

Bracing a hand against her chest, she shut her eyes.

" _Please don't sneak up on me like that_." She rasped as she tried to settle her nerves. "I don't think my heart can take much more."

He inclined his head in apology.

"We have to keep moving." He told her and with a start, she moved to follow him through the door.

"Stay close, prisoner." Hadvar muttered and Kendrick tensed. "There's Stormcloaks up ahead."

 _Fuck_.

* * *

 **Here's the next chapter, I admit I got lazy and didn't want to write the next scene out yet but I'll get to it soon. So far I hope Kendrick has been to your liking!**

 **Please review and enjoy.**

* * *

 **Edit: 6/17/17**


	3. Unconstrained

Kendrick felt every muscle in her body clench in fear at Hadvar's words and she tightened her grip on the bow in her hands.

Breathing harshly through her nose, the young girl gulped and bit almost rabidly at her lips until she could taste the salty tang of blood.

"If you _don't_ they'll _kill_ you." She whispered savagely to herself even as she felt her whatever scraps of determination she had managed to gather, scatter under the thought of drawing her weapon on another person. "If you _don't_ they will _fucking kill_ you."

Closing her eyes when she heard Hadvar charge in to kill the Stormcloaks - who were her current enemies her survival instinct snarled even as her sympathy wailed about the taking of lives - and even as she prepared herself to lunge out of her hiding spot, the choice was ultimately taken from her as the unoccupied rebel burst around the corner.

And Kendrick would like to say she had hesitated, had been frozen in fear when it came down to killing her assailant, hell! She would even have liked to have said that she had fired off an arrow and struck true but that - that would be a lie.

Instead, her years worth of training had kicked in - _because it was either them or her_ \- but those reflexes had been tempered by terror - by the sight of a woman garbed in armor standing over her body with a sword held high towards sky just waiting to strike her down and so when she had quickly lifted up her bow to fire, she had fallen back and her shot had sailed far past its intended target.

Yelping in horror as the sword came crashing down, Kendrick threw herself to the side - ignoring the way the hard rough stone of the ground cut into her palms with a cutting sense of dread she realized just what was wrong.

 _Wait just one motherfucking second!_

Staring horrified down at her _bloodied_ and _empty_ bare hands, Kendrick glanced behind her only to scream and duck as a gleaming blade attempted to cleave her head from her shoulders.

Knowing that she had to keep moving - _because if she didn't she would end up dead oh fuck!_ \- Kendrick scrambled to the side and turned to look behind her attacker and there, of course, lay her bow.

Grateful that she had secured the quiver to her back from the very beginning and only needed to retrieve one thing, the dark haired girl darted for her weapon and at the very last moment, she saw a flash of silver in the corner of her eye.

Screaming as she felt the tip of the sword biting into the skin of her left calve, Kendrick hit the ground, scrambled forward, and snatched up her bow.

Whirling around she fished frantically for an arrow, notched it, and let it fly.

And she kept letting it fly even when she stopped hearing the sick squish of projectiles hitting flesh.

She kept letting it fly even as the body of her assailant slammed harshly against the ground and she kept letting it fly even when the only thing she left to listen to was the sound of metal arrowheads hitting the wall opposite of her.

Now what had stopped her frantic and blind actions wasn't her running out of ammunition or even realizing her attack was dead - it was the feeling of someone taking hold of her wrist and pulling it away from her half empty quiver that did the job and in a different situation Kendrick would have been grateful.

But as it was, the only thing she reasoned could be touching her was an enemy and she needed to escape.

 _Now_.

Giving a screech at the contact, Kendrick dropped her bow and used her now free hand to punch and scratch wildly at the person who had her in their grip.

She wasn't going to die here.

 _She wasn't._

" _Prisoner_!" The man shouted before he gave a curse and grabbed hold of her other wrist to give her a quick shake. " _Prisoner calm yourself_!"

Biting her lip to keep herself from instinctively spitting in his eyes, Kendrick let her gaze meet Hadvar's - _who wasn't an enemy right? He had to be an ally, the game said so_ \- she gave a croaking sob before lurching to the side and dry heaving onto the stone floor.

Her back bowed sharply against the strain as she half-choked on the combination of the slimy liquid dripping from her mouth and the sobs that clawed at her throat.

Giving her wrists a sharp tug - _to which the Imperial soldier responded by letting her go thank god_ \- Kendrick pressed her hands to her aching stomach and wiped the bile from her lips.

With a few stuttering hiccups she chanced a glance to her left at the body - _the blood covered body with way too many wooden handles sticking out from its flesh_ \- Kendrick groaned as a fresh wave of tears fell from her lashes.

"...You did good." Hadvar said to her - _as if that was encouragement she fucking needed_ \- and she let something reminiscent of both a tortured scream and a pitiful moan in response.

" _Don't tell me that_!" She rasped out as she pushed herself away from the body and over to the opposite wall. "For fuck's sake just - _just_! Don't. _Don't! Say anything!_ "

Cradling her head in her hands she rubbed the heels of her palms against her eye sockets and huffed out a breath before she glanced down with a bleary burning gaze at the leg that seemed to make her every inhale hurt. And as she picked at the cloth surrounding the wound, she whimpered as another fresh wave of tears blurred her vision.

Wincing she picked up her bow, used the wall to lift herself up, and shuffled towards the barrels in the corner.

Biting her lip to keep from cursing at the flare of pain that raced up her leg with every limping step, Kendrick leaned heavily against the wooden cases and used one hand to lift the handle.

Balancing on her one good leg, she reached into the barrel and pulled out three red bottles before she lowered herself on the ground as gently as she could.

Grunting as the flare of pain, she wiped at her eyes one last time and took a deep inhale.

"Do these work?" She warbled out lowly as she uncorked the potion and gave it a sniff as Hadvar hesitantly approached her. Cutting her eyes over to him as her kneeled near her injured leg, she moved to jerk it away but the sting of the wound stopped her.

"Easy prisoner," Hadvar intoned and Kendrick gritted her teeth. "I'm not going to hurt you, I just want to check your leg."

Narrowing her eyes at him, she reluctantly let him take hold of her ankle and bare the cut. Watching as he carefully prodded the brown skin around the incision, Kendrick gave a full body flinch.

"It's not too deep." He told her after a moment. "If you down two of them, it should heal up almost entirely with only a little bit of soreness."

Blinking she looked down at the bottle in her grasp contemplatively for only a second before she knocked it back, and then the other one a moment later.

Closing her eyes, she felt an icy cold slithering through her body until it focused on the place it was needed the most. And when she shyly peeked out from underneath her lashes she was relieved to note the fact that her calf was the same flawless smooth brown it had been before this whole bullshit ordeal.

Testing her healed state out she stood up and jumped about a few times and was pleased to note that only a few lingering twinges of pain remained. Gathering herself up, along with her bow and a few more potions that she put inside her quiver, Kendrick turned to Hadvar and gestured for him to carry on.

"We should keep going." She croaked out and when he looked with hesitant worry at her red-rimmed eyes and dull expression, she furrowed her brows in faint irritation because now was _not_ the time to be worried about her _damn_ feelings. "Or maybe you want Alduin to eat us all alive?"

A strange look passed over Hadvar's face and after a second of reflection Kendrick felt panic slither down her spine, she should have kept her mouth shut.

 _No one knew the dragon had a goddamn name yet._

"I...suppose." He said after a bout of silence that didn't help her nerves but when he hefted up his sword and carried on, she allowed herself to relax a single muscle. "Follow me and stay close."

Moving behind the Imperial soldier, it wasn't long before they were in the torture room, but instead of even attempting to hype herself up to defend herself, she hid behind a cage and let Hadvar and his associates handle the dirty work.

The Imperials owed her that much considering they had been about to _kill_ her.

"You fellows happened along just in time." A man dressed in a cloak purred out and she flinched. "These boys seemed a bit _upset_ at how I've been entertaining their comrades."

To Hadvar's credit, he looked just as astonished at the man's blase attitude as she did.

"Don't you even know what's going on?" He asked a bit disgustedly. "A _dragon_ is attacking Helgen!"

She could almost feel the eye-roll.

"A dragon? _Please_. Don't make up nonsense." For a second he paused. "Although come to think of it, I _did_ hear some odd noises coming from over there."

"Come with us." Hadvar said to both the torturer and his assistant and Kendrick started when she noticed the other man in the room. "We need to get out of here."

Knowing she had a limited amount of time before the Imperials started to move towards the Stormcloaks in the next hall, she knew she needed to get there first in order to get by them without a fight.

They didn't have any bone to pick with her and she wanted it to stay that way.

Bolting forward Kendrick broke into a sprint past the Imperials and down the hall to the next room. She ignored the way Hadvar called for her and his fellow Imperials to stay where they were and she silently thanked him for stopping them from trying to go after her.

Entering the cave Kendrick dropped to her knees and held up her hands non-threateningly.

" _Wait_!" She yelped as her she resisted the urge to cry. "I'm not with the Imperials! I was a prisoner and I just want to get out of here!"

The Stormcloaks that began to approach her halted and glanced at each other before one stepped forward and inspected her.

"She tells no lies." He said after a moment as her heart beat hard against her rib cage. "She was with Ralof and our Lord, let her pass."

Scrambling to her feet she barely heard it when Hadvar and the assistant entered behind her, but she _did_ hear it when the Stormcloaks roared and charged. Moving as quickly as she could out of the way, she raced across the walkway and down a hallway where she stopped and waited for Hadvar.

Despite not wanting to fight, she wasn't just going to leave the man to _die_ especially since she knew that once she opened the gate and crossed inside that there was a high chance that Alduin would roar and cause the entrance to collapse.

She didn't want to be the cause of another death especially Hadvar's but if she also realized that she would need his help and his offer of temporary sanctuary, then no one but her needed to know. Huffing she rubbed her sweaty palms against her pants and perked up when she heard the sound of boots nearing her.

Spying the soldier by himself, she quickly pulled the lever and waved him on.

"Hurry up!" She called urgently. "We need to get out of here pronto!"

And when he didn't make any move to speed up Kendrick frowned.

What was he doing?

And - did he look mad or was it just her?

"Why did you run?" He asked with narrowed eyes when he was close enough and she rolled her eyes and grabbed for his wrist, but he dodged and grabbed hers instead.

" _Why did you run_?"

Yanking her arm away - and fully aware that he _let_ that happen - Kendrick resisted the urge to knee him in his Imperial nuts.

" _I didn't want to kill anyone_." She spat out as she ran forward and she half hoped Hadvar would end up left behind now, but when Alduin roared and the ceiling fell she found herself glancing behind her in search of the soldier.

Spying him, she sighed and moved forward towards the skeleton and picked up the coin purse and the iron dagger.

Stuffing the money in the pockets of her jeans underneath her leather pants, she hummed before ripping the leather from the cut in her pants and using the strip to cover the blade of the small weapon.

Stuffing the knife in her boot - she would have to walk carefully - Kendrick felt a bit icked out at stealing from a skeleton - because surely that was sacrilegious - but she had to make due with what she was given and she pointedly ignored Hadvar's disapproving look.

Readying her bow when she reached the next cavern, she didn't hesitant in shooting at the frost spiders. They were ugly, poisonous, and most importantly an _animal_.

An animal with a level of consciousness that didn't rival hers and so there was no guilt to be had here and if she felt like killing the spiders proved that she _could_ indeed _kill_ despite her earlier weakness - because death in Skyrim would be unavoidable, she had to get used to it - Kendrick wasn't going to admit it.

Mainly because she wasn't staying here so there was nothing she had to get accustomed to.

Feeling bone tired as the last arachnid died, she moved as quickly as the knife in her boot would afford her, and entered the cavern with the bear.

Taking careful aim to kill it with one shot, she fired. Kendrick did _not_ have the patience to sneak out of this fucking cave and she would have punched Hadvar out if the man even suggested it.

Waiting a bit at the mouth of the exit, she was surprised to not have seen Alduin flying overhead but she guessed some things wouldn't remain the same. Especially with her supposedly taking on the main role and all - the thought of which made her distinctly uncomfortable.

Hearing Hadvar walk up beside her she turned to view him and licked her lips.

"Hey," She called as she rubbed at her wrist. "do you know where Riverwood is?"

* * *

 **New chapter! I hope her reactions were realistic. I was torn on whether or not to have her kill someone early on but really I think having to kill so soon was unavoidable.**

 **Please review!**

* * *

 **Edit: 6/17/17**


	4. Wind Down

Sitting hunched in a chair at the dinner table of Hadvar's uncle's house, Kendrick felt absolutely sick in ways she wasn't fully able to discern.

She already had the whole conversation with Hadvar's uncle - whose name escaped her under her misery - and surprisingly - or unsurprisingly - Hadvar had said that maybe the Imperial Legion wasn't for her but that they could use all the help they could get.

Feeling her lips lift into an almost smirk as she gave a self-depreciating scoff, the dark haired girl turned back to the young girl - Dorthe - as she was flashed an excited smile.

"I can't believe you've seen a real life dragon!" The child gasped and despite knowing that the kid was _beyond_ naive and young, Kendrick still felt a sliver of irritation slither into her veins but she quickly brushed it away. "You don't look that much older than me!"

The young Helgen escapee cocked her head to the side and offered up what she hoped was a sheepish smile.

"I'm probably not." She admitted ruefully. "I mean, I only just turned seventeen a few days ago."

Dorthe looked stunned.

" _I'm_ thirteen!" She told her excitedly as her eyes twinkled brightly and Kendrick wanted to retch. "You were only born four years earlier than me. Does that mean I can see a dragon soon too?"

Kendrick turned wide eyes towards the girl - _the crazy ass girl who wanted to see a fucking fire-breathing lizard_ \- and opened her mouth to call her a dumbass when _thankfully_ , she was interrupted.

Swallowing the spite that was festering on her tongue, Kendrick felt embarrassment curdle in her gut at the fact that she had almost lost her temper with a _child_ \- and she ignored the voice in her head that told her she was one too.

Seventeen was too old to be coddled.

Glancing over to Alvor - yes that was his name - as he admonished his daughter on her decorum and common sense, Kendrick found her eyes drawn to his wife as she moved nearer.

"I apologize for Dorthe." Sigrid murmured as she set a bowl of stew and bread in front of her. "She sometimes doesn't understand that the words she speaks can harm others."

Offering up a genial smile, Kendrick waved away the concern despite the part of her that wanted to be petty and tell the woman to teach her kid not to run her mouth and rubbed at her wrist.

"It's okay." She told her, already good enough at lying that she herself, almost believed it. "Kids have wild imaginations, I'm not offended."

Sigrid nodded slowly as if humoring her before she gestured down to her cut pants.

"Well anyways I still think I should make it up to you." She told her firmly. "I don't suppose you would accept a warm bath and the mending of your clothes as compensation?"

Blinking Kendrick turned to look at the Nord woman and for a second she thought about turning the offer down out of pure propriety but as the words got stuck behind her teeth, she saw Sigrid flash her an understanding glance.

"I'll have Hadvar bring out the wooden basin and heat the water." She said to her as she placed a warm hand over hers and Kendrick felt a hard lump climb up her esophagus.

"T-thank you." She stuttered out on a croak before she cleared her throat. " _Thank you_. So very much."

Sigrid sent her a warm smile as she got up, but not before she sent a meaningful glance to the soup sitting in front of the outworlder.

Slowly Kendrick lifted her spoon and dug in, taking careful consideration towards eating just in case she found herself eating Skeever meat for the rest of her goddamn life.

And although she tried to take her time it wasn't long before she was done eating - god she never thought anything without meat would taste so goddamn good - and was left sitting there.

Alone.

With only her thoughts for company.

Huffing to herself as she felt tears once a-fucking-gain prickle at her eyes, Kendrick stood from the table and picked up her bowl.

"Is there anyplace I can wash this?" She asked Sigrid who then insisted on herself being the one to clean it but Kendrick shook her head sharply.

"No, I can take care of this." She told the woman. "You've - you have done enough already."

Receiving a pursed lip look from the Nord woman she was then led to the side of the house where a small creek that led off into the river lay, and she set to work.

The water was freezing and almost painful but Kendrick thought the icy feeling was preferred over the despair that threatened to tear her apart and so once the bowl was clean she stuck her arms into the pool of water until it lingered around her elbows.

Staring deep into the water she almost bypassed her reflection - that showed her round, brown face with tired brown eyes to which she balked - and the sound of a door opening had her quickly withdrawing from the icy liquid.

"Your bath is ready." Sigrid called and within seconds Kendrick found herself back inside the house.

Following her hostess over near the fire she spied the tub and faltered as she realized her bath would take place right here.

Glancing around uneasily as she checked around for the men she startled at Sigrid's hand on her arm.

"The boys and Dorthe have been sent off to the forge for the time being." She explained and Kendrick marginally relaxed until she realized the forge was right outside.

"And don't _worry_ , I will be standing guard of the locked doors and the keys all stay with me." She assured and the dark-haired girl stared the woman deep into her blue eyes for a couple of moments before she sagged in relief.

" _Thank you_." She rasped out as Sigrid gave a nod and pressed a hard yellowed circle into her hand.

"This is one of our newly made soaps." The blonde told her as she made for the door. "Take as long as you need dear."

And that's all that was said before she heard the lock clicking.

Waiting a few moments before she quickly undressed and submerged herself subconsciously in the water. Peeking cautiously towards the door, she dipped the soap into the liquid and gave it a quick scrub across her body with a wince. Hissing a bit at the roughness she stared down at the yellow bar before she gave it a curious sniff and smelled - nothing.

 _Absolutely fucking nothing._

Feeling a hiccup bubble in her chest as the reality of _everything_ came crashing down on her all because the stupid fucking soap was _unscented_ and _rough_ and _nothing_ like it was back _home_ \- Kendrick sunk herself deep into the water and _screamed_.

Gripping hard at her hair she gave it a yank and listened as water sloshed onto the floor and for a terrible moment as she stayed under long enough for her lungs to burn - she considered drowning herself. She considered staying under the water until she stopped breathing because she didn't want to die someone nameless in a fictional world that shouldn't even _exist._

But regardless of her recklessness and moment of weakness, she drew herself out of the water with a ragged gasp and threw her hair out of her face.

Staring down into the stilling water as tears dripped down her cheeks and disturbed the surface, Kendrick numbly lifted the soap and cleaned herself as thoroughly as she could manage.

This may very well be the last bath she would ever enjoy, she might as well savor it.

And even if she was sobbing loudly the whole time, she prayed none of the four sitting just outside would mention it.

She didn't think her heart could take any more pity.

* * *

 **I said Riverwood and Whiterun but I wanted to release a lil something else. I feel bad for Kendrick lol, I'd hate to deal with Skyrim.**

 **Please review!**

* * *

 **Edit: 6/17/17**


	5. Beyond The Storm

She had managed to stay at Hadvar's family's house for perhaps three days before they all but pressured her to go tell the Jarl about the dragon attack.

The dark-eyed girl had half a mind to tell them all to fuck off and leave her be but common sense overcame her anger and she decided to stay her tongue.

Kendrick had to go to Whiterun she _knew_ that - and didn't like it, but she'd be damned if she went alone.

It hadn't taken much for Hadvar to agree to accompany her the following morning - in which her sleep was consumed with guilt and visions of murder - considering she very well looked like shit. He wasn't going to follow her into the city - because he was an Imperial and Whiterun was neutral which was the main reason she had to be the one to tell the Jarl about the dragon attack - but he would escort her to the gates and that was all she could ask for.

Redressed in her now clean and stitched clothes, Kendrick decided to braid her unruly hair back into a plait and cover herself with a shawl that wrapped around her head, mouth, and shoulders - leaving only her eyes bare.

She didn't want people to know who she was, especially if she had assumed the role she _thought_ she had assumed. If that ended up being the case - and she prayed it wasn't - then she was going need to be unrecognizable so that a timely escape would be easy to orchestrate. Notoriety was going to be her best goddamn friend here and she would treasure it.

Fuck being the Dragonborn, she didn't even _live_ here.

Hurrying her way through breakfast, she was given a backpack like construction in which she put some wrapped up loaves of bread, dried meat, and leaves of cabbage as well as the few sanitary things given to her by Hadvar's aunt. She placed her first pair of clothes into the bag as well, wearing them would raise one too many questions and despite how they were her only link to her home world Kendrick couldn't compromise herself like that.

Looking over to her left she sighed a bit as she looked at sharp steel covered in a hilt.

Kendrick didn't know how to use a sword but Hadvar's uncle still gave her one and she wasn't going to scorn anything that could possibly save her life. She still ultimately preferred her bow but learning how to stab some asshole would definitely end up saving her godforsaken life.

The young archer snorted to herself, only a few days in this world and she already contemplating murdering another living cognizant being. She was going to hell for sure.

"Are you ready to go?" Hadvar asked as she strapped the sword awkwardly to her waist and she looked up at him and nodded. "Alright then, let's head out."

They left at dawn when almost everyone but the guards were sleeping and Kendrick felt the chill of the morning air settle heavily on her spine.

The small and humble family had said their goodbyes to her the night before and Kendrick was ashamed to admit that she had almost _cried_. She barely even _knew_ these people but it was easy to see that they would be one of the few - if not the last - people who would offer her kindness without expecting something grand in return.

 _God, she wanted to go home._

Trekking out of the gates of Riverwood, Kendrick looked back and wistfully wished that she could just stay in this village until she sorted out her situation.

And possibly found a way home. That is, if there even was one.

She had been thinking and if she was here due to one of the supposed Divines then they were less than likely to let her mosey her ass home. And if they _weren't_ the reason she was in Skyrim then she couldn't chance them or anything else finding out about her home world.

She remembered enough from playing Oblivion what would happen if something like the Daedra or even the Aedra got their hands on a new plane of existence. No one in her world had magic and she didn't know how bullets and nukes would fair against Mehrunes Dagon.

Gripping the straps of her makeshift backpack Kendrick worried the inside of her mouth with her teeth. She had to find a way home by herself, she couldn't risk any untoward interference.

At least for now.

"How far is Whiterun?" She asked her companion after a moment and he hummed.

"We need to head west on the road from the two bridges," He told her just as they crossed the stone walkway. "then we have to continue on the opposite side of the stream towards Chillfurrow Farm and past the Honningbrew Meadery."

"And then we're there?"

"And then we're there." Hadvar nodded. "More or less."

Turning to face forward again, Kendrick unslung the bow from her back and half notched an arrow. She knew these roads from her time playing had wolves around and she'd be damned if she got mauled to death by anything less than fucking Alduin _himself_.

If she could survive him then she could survive walking to Whiterun.

Staying close by Hadvar's elbow she kept a close eye on her surroundings and when - just like she predicted - a wolf came barreling out of the shrubbery Kendrick fired and caught the thing in the shoulder. Heart hammering in her chest, she stumbled back and scrambled for another arrow just as Hadvar rushed forward and swung his sword down at its head.

She didn't know if the people of Skyrim had some kind of enhanced strength but she was more frightened than amazed at how easily the blond put his weapon through the wolf's _skull_.

Swallowing she slowly put her drawn arrow back into the quiver before she moved forward towards the dead monster dog.

Hesitantly she grasped the shaft of her arrow embedded in the thing's shoulder and pulled, but when it barely budged she frowned. Taking a second to deliberate she placed one foot on its neck - she half thought it was going to jump up at her - Kendrick tugged and twisted until the projectile came loose.

"Fucking finally." She muttered as she wiped off the blood on the wolf's fur. "We just passed by something that looked like a farm, was that the Killborrow place?"

"Chillfurrow," Hadvar corrected and she had to swallow the urge to tell him to go suck a cock. "And no, we just passed the meadery."

Kendrick glanced back and frowned.

"Oh ew," She scowled as she remembered that this was the placed with the spider infestation. "Do ya'll actually _drink_ there?"

Hadvar shot her a dry look.

"Well, _I_ do not since I live ways away from here but some do mayhaps." He told her and she twisted her face into an expression of disgust.

"Let's just go before another wolf attacks us." She grumbled as she notched her retrieved arrow. "I'm guessing that's Whiterun over there?"

It was much larger than the game made it out to be but Kendrick was figuring that was true for just about everything.

"You would be guessing correctly." Hadvar said as they descended down into the field leading to the fort like city.

"Huh," She grunted as she stumbled down the hill. "I thought it would take longer to get here."

The blond Imperial soldier shot her an amused look.

"Lass," He said with a small smile and a raised brow. "we've been walking for nigh forty-five minutes."

Stopping in her tracks she swung wild brown eyes over to stare at her escort.

" _You lie_."

He shrugged a shoulder.

"It matters not if you believe me." He said with a chuckle. "What I said was true."

Blinking to herself she furrowed her brow.

"Well, I guess that explains why my feet hurt and my calves feel stretched." She groaned to herself. "My paranoia kept me preoccupied the _whole_ walk."

Hadvar nodded.

"Aye, but it also kept your senses sharp and you alive." He told her. "It was useful yet."

Sighing a bit she opened her mouth to retort when her eyes caught onto this giant - humanoid -thing brandishing a large club at two dancing figures.

"What the fuck is that?!" She cried even though she knew it was likely a giant but her shock at such a sight was too great. "And why the _hell_ are they fighting it?"

Hadvar gripped her arm and quickly led her to the far side of the fight.

"That is a giant." He gestured. "And they are the warriors known as Companions, they were likely paid by someone in Whiterun to take care of the issue."

Shivering to herself as she watched the giant fall, Kendrick hurried her steps.

"They're insane." She said under her breath and when the two figures snapped their heads towards her - as if they heard her words and they probably did - she jerked and pulled Hadvar into their line of sight.

"Ok, I take it back." She whispered as she forced Hadvar into jogging up to Whiterun's gate. "They're insane _and_ scary."

He chuckled.

"I suppose to one as young as you they might be." The blond conceded. "But to many others, they are heralded as mighty and honorable fighters."

Kendrick almost rolled her eyes.

"Good for them." She deadpanned as they walked up the road to the gates and they stopped before the guard stationed outside.

"The city is closed to visitors." The helmed man said. "There has been word of dragon attacks and the Jarl can take no chances."

Clearing her throat Kendrick stepped forward and raised her hand.

"That's what we came here to talk about." She told the soldier. "Riverwood requests the Jarl's help."

There was a pause before the man reached back and knocked twice on the large door. After a second two guards exited and the one guarding the entrance gestured at his compatriots.

"They will take you to the Jarl." The man said even as his tone was tinged with suspicion. "You will deliver your message to him and then once your business is finished, they will escort you out."

A little taken back by how much more like an enemy she was being treated than how she had been in the game, Kendrick nodded.

"Behave yourself." The guard said. "And know that we will be watching."

Feeling her shoulders hunch at the threat she was glad that her veil covered the angry scowl she was wearing.

She didn't need to start any trouble.

Yet.

Turning to Hadvar she stepped close as if to hug him but stopped herself just in time to give him an awkward shoulder pat and by the amused look in his eye, he noticed.

"If everything goes well I'll see you in Riverwood." She said stepping back and the blond smiled.

"If it is Talos' will then I look forward to it." He told her as he started back down the path. "Stay safe lass."

Kendrick moved towards the gate and swallowed the urge to ask him to stay with her but Imperials and Stormcloaks alike weren't allowed in a neutral point like Whiterun.

"You too."

* * *

 **Here's a new chapter. She about to be face to face with the Jarl! How exciting!**

 **I feel like a lot of people who fall into Skyrim are like "let's go to the divines so they can get me home!" but Kendrick is scared to possibly let them know about her world. Because once they know the Daedra will no doubt find out some way or another so she's gonna try to find her own way. At least for now.**

 **Please review.**

* * *

 **Edit: 6/17/17**


	6. A Deviation In The Matrix

Kendrick's throat felt dry and whenever she tried to swallow it was as if there were pins and needles digging into the soft tissue of her esophagus.

Uncomfortable with the thought of an armed, foreign, and most likely hostile man walking behind her, she kept glancing back and she swore that every time she did the man was a little closer than before. Shivering she decided to keep her eyes forward and trekked through Whiterun - fucking Whiterun! - and staunchly refused to get waylaid by anything they came across.

Not even that racist town yeller would get a half a thought from her despite how she wanted to run him over with a 200 pound Chevy pickup truck.

Huffing to herself as they started up the stairs and the man restarted his anti-elf rhetoric, she couldn't resist a tiny defiant quip under her breathe.

"Why don't you guys make him shut the hell up? He's obviously disturbing the peace." She muttered as his loud voice managed to fade with the gained distance. "It's not like freedom of speech is a god given right here, or do ya'll _support_ his ugly prejudice?"

And suddenly all at once she could feel the soldier behind her loom closer and the young archer hunched her shoulders.

"What was that visitor?" The rear guard asked and she flinched before shuffling farther away from him.

" _Nothing_." She grumbled out loud and suddenly Kendrick was angry with herself.

She gritted her teeth and stomped harder up the stairs because now was not the time for her inner rights activist to rear its argumentative and protective head. And yeah okay! So _what_ if the town racist managed to get a snag her attention! He wouldn't get any more of it because she would be out of Whiterun at her earliest convenience.

Which hopefully would be as soon as she delivered her message.

Stepping onto the wooden deck of Dragonsreach, Kendrick's breathe stalled as she saw just how big the construct was and with a prod at her back, the read guard made his presence known again.

Flinching at the contact she hissed an angry 'Don't touch me!' at the man before she could fully process the action. Jerking away when the soldier took a step towards her, Kendrick nearly cried in relief when the leading sword toting warrior turned to give his compatriot a look.

"Leave the girl alone." He instructed in a hard tone. "She has business with the Jarl and I won't have you making a bad name out of us."

There was a second of charged silence before the man behind her clicked his teeth and moved away and before she could say thank you to the helpful soldier, he was opening the doors to the Jarl's throne room. Pausing a bit, she glanced around the hall before she stepped inside and when she noticed neither of the guards moved with her she looked back - only to view the large door closing in her face.

A little disgruntled at the action Kendrick faced forward and once again marveled at the architecture and sheer size of everything around her. Suddenly feeling so very small and alone, she carefully adjusted the scarf covering her face and hesitantly moved forward.

Walking up the stairs to the main patio, she couldn't help but label the large fire pit a hazard - someone would get so hurt on that someday - and she carefully maneuvered around it. Switching her gaze from the hot coals to her left she stared first at the dark elf lady - and fuck her if that didn't make this all feel even more real - before carefully sliding her eyes to the blond man sitting on a gaudy chair.

Kendrick found Jarl Balgruuf to be an intimidating man when she wasn't looking at him in the safe form of a million pixels and she wanted to weep. He was larger and more muscled than the game hinted at and there were scars.

 _Oh how there were scars._

They littered his fingers, his hands, and his forearms and if she could see the rest of his body she knew she'd find even more than that. He wasn't so much as handsome as he was fierce looking and notable with his hard and sharp features and with an uneasy shift in place, Kendrick was _this_ close to just hightailing it out of she had actually taken an unconscious step backward when the elf - Irileth - had spotted her and put her hand on the pommel of her sword. Eyes nervously tracking the movement of the housecarl's sword arm, the dark-eyed girl carefully lifted her hands up to show that she meant no harm.

If there was any way for someone to look down their noses at Kendrick like this lady was then she had yet to find them.

"And what do you think you are doing here, interrupting a meeting of the Jarl?" The Dunmer asked and Kendrick tried not to bristle at the attitude she was getting and decided to get this out of the way as quickly as she could.

"I was there during the dragon attack at Helgen," She told the other female without preamble and when she saw her grip loosen ever so slightly on her weapon, she sighed in relief. _Thank god._ "and I'm here on behalf of Riverwood to request assistance."

There was a pause before the Jarl's deep rolling timbre sounded and Kendrick was startled to hear how similar - yet different - he sounded to his voice actor.

"Come forward traveler." He beseeched her genially. "and let us speak fully on whatever news you bring."

And at that Kendrick felt her eyes narrow because wasn't he supposed to offer aid immediately?

"Okay, we can have a discussion." She told him slowly as her stubborn nature wagged its tail. "As soon as you send troops out to Riverwood and not a second before that."

And suddenly the room was in an uproar.

The Jarl's advisor demanded to know who Kendrick thought she was while the same time, Irileth started growling out threats towards her supposed imputence with the Jarl - but all the dark haired girl did in reply was flinch, clench her teeth, and stare at Balgruuf until he responded.

And he did, with a single raise of his hand that quieted both of his denizens in one go.

Kendrick was impressed despite herself, the man wielded his authority well.

"I will do as my people bid." He acknowledged as he turned to Irileth who moved to attention. "Send men to the aid of Riverwood immediately, we shouldn't tarry else I fear something terrible may befall them."

The balding advisor looked as if he wanted to argue but the Dunmer merely bowed with her hand over her heart and gave a dutiful 'Yes my Jarl'.

"Now come," Balgruuf instructed and Kendrick hesitantly moved forward. "you and I shall have words."

She blinked and fiddled with the edge of her shirt.

"What did you wanna know?" Kendrick asked him after a moment and she realized how uncomfortable she felt around him.

"Just two simple things," He admitted as he leaned forward in his cushioned seat. "how many people survived the dragon attack on Helgen and how you managed to escape unscathed."

Kendrick paused and rubbed the back of her neck awkwardly.

 _Oh boy._

"I - there's - _listen_ ," She said as she licked her suddenly dry lips. "don't take what happened to Helgen and think that's what's gonna happen to you."

Looking up through her lashes at the Jarl, she shifted her weight from one foot to another.

"It's not like anyone _knew_ a freaking flying lizard was gonna attack," She explained nervously. "which was why the Imperials stationed there weren't prepared which meant there were a _lot_ of casualties."

The Jarl's head dipped.

"And pray tell," He rumbled. "do you suppose our forces could stand against an attack like that?"

For a second Kendrick's mouth opened to say yes, but then she closed it and nibbled on her lips.

"Not against _that_ particular Dragon no." She admitted softly and for the first time since she started speaking the housecarl scoffed and spoke out.

"What do you know about Whiterun's naval capabilities?" The smarmy little man asked and Kendrick cut her gaze to him and rolled her eyes. "You're an _outsider_! Practically as ignorant as a newborn _babe_!"

Now for a second there Kendrick felt pure indignation flare up in the pit of her stomach before she paused, took a deep breath and closed her eyes for a few moments.

"You know what? I'm _not_ going to do this with you." She said as she dismissed the fuming man from her attention entirely. "Jarl Balgruuf listen, against any other dragon but the black one who burned down Helgen, you'd stand a decent chance and I escaped with the help of a kind soldier."

Hunching her shoulders she resisted the urge to cross her arms defensively over her chest.

"Now can I go?"

The advisor - whose name still escaped her - looked ready to mouth off again but the Jarl cut him off with a wave of his hand.

Damn, she was still impressed.

"Proventus, _enough._ " Balgruuf said before he reached down and took the pouch hanging from his waist and tossed it to her. She caught it. Barely. "Before you go, I will see you off with an award for your service to Riverwood, there are a hundred or so septums inside and as always you have my thanks."

Feeling off-kilter - because hadn't she gotten armor last time? - Kendrick fell into a clumsy curtsey/bow hybrid and turned to go, only to pause and look back at the man seated on the throne.

"Excuse me Jarl," She started, perhaps in a voice far too timid to be her own but lately she had been doing far worse things uncharacteristic of herself. "but the guy who walked me here left already so would it be okay to travel with the troops back over to Riverwood?"

The man inclined his pale head.

"Of course." He said and Kendrick sagged with relief. "Proventus will write you a note to give to the head of the Riverwood bound garrison."

He smiled and she half grinned back.

"Merry travels young one."

* * *

For some reason, it had taken longer to get back to Riverwood than it took to leave it and when she finally ended up back in the little village she had immediately beelined straight to the tavern and got a room to stay in.

She knew that Hadvar's family would have welcomed her back into their home but honestly, their kindness just made her heart hurt.

And so as she bypassed the bed with questionable stains on it and instead curled up in the rickety chair in the corner.

Digging into her quiver she pulled out the few potions she had for healing and magicka and set them to the side before pulling out the money she had gotten from the Jarl and the stolen coin purse from the skeleton.

The second pouch had twenty-five septums in it and that combined with the money she received from Balgruuf put her well above the one hundred mark.

Sighing as she put all her things away, Kendrick knew she had to figure out some sort of plan - preferably by the end up the week.

Else she would be unbearably fucked.

Well, even more than she was _now_ and that was saying something.

* * *

 **Kendrick didn't get offered the mission because she doesn't look like an adventurer at all. She looked like a young ass girl who had a message to deliver. I decided to bypass her even being offered it because there's no way a reasonable guy like Balgruuf would tell a visibly frightened young lady about something like that.**

 **Don't worry though, the Bleakfalls Barrow Mission will be completed but in a completely different way and not by Kendrick because there's no way they could get her into that crypt haha.**

* * *

 **Question 1: Did you guys like how I handled the Jarl scene?**

 **Question 2: How do you think Kendrick is gonna be outed at the Dragonborn?**

 **Question 3: How do you guys want to see Kendrick meet the most?**

 **Question 4: Do you guys like Kendrick so far? And why?**

* * *

 **Thank you for reading, go check out my Game of Thrones SI-OC if you're interested! And if you like Batman I have an SI-OC for that fandom now too!**

* * *

 **Edit: 6/17/17**


	7. Gamma Draconis

" **This**!" - Shouts/Words With Power Put Into Them.

* * *

Kendrick had a job working the tavern in Riverwood, the pay wasn't much but it was something and she thanked her parents for birthing her with a pretty face because that's surely what got her the job.

Well that and Hadvar's family vouching for her credibility.

The young outworlder didn't fancy staying in Skyrim longer than she had to but she _refused_ to not have a source of income or some money to fall back on in the meantime. Already she got two meals a day and a room at a discount as a perk for being a worker here, and serving got her up close and person with any gossip that might be floating around.

Like the fact that there were dragons being resurrected daily.

In fact, there was one outside of Whiterun that kept coming back to life like clockwork.

 _The Dragonborn should really get on that._

Huffing to herself as she artfully carried four different plates in her arms - she did service jobs to pay for her leisure items back home - she doled out the plated meals and gave each customer a wide smile.

And she not once did those usual shit heads smack her ass.

Kendrick knew sexual harassment intimately - what girl didn't? - but the flagrant way it was practiced in Skyrim was fucking terrifying. The few girls who helped out around the tavern had regaled her the stories of what it was like to work in the less savory bars and it left the dark-eyed girl shuddering. Of course, all those tales were meant to comfort her since Kendrick had managed to land a job in an Inn where the owners didn't tolerate that bullshit but nevertheless the words left her startled.

The her first brush with harassment would shake her even more.

The first time a guy had touched her without her explicit permission was when she had been delivering a cup of beer to the jackasses' table. She had set down the heavy tankards and gave each of the leering slimeballs a friendly smile before she turned and walked away - but she had stopped immediately at the feeling of a hand sitting on the curve of her ass.

Now the man might have said something, thinking he could seduce her.

He might have chuckled and said "do ye like that lassie?" with a nasty little purr added on.

He might've even given her a squeeze if she hadn't immediately reacted to the sexual threat like her self-defense instructor told her to.

Without a delay, a second after she felt him touch her Kendrick reached back with her hand, trapped his against her bottom, moved her fingers over to grab and trap his pinky and pulled the digit back until the man hollered in pain. Immediately upon release she flew across the bar to hide behind the counter as the bartender - a large and burly man - caught sight of terror stricken young girl and physically threw the creep and his friends out of the tavern.

She had been allowed the rest of the day off, which she spent in her room wishing she had taken a more detailed and full course of protecting herself instead of simply learning some basics.

God, she hated hindsight.

But all in all, it wasn't her worse job - no that was reserved for McDonald's sadly - although the difference in terminology definitely threw her.

Yesterday some man had called her a comely wench and she instinctively snapped back with a narrowed eyed 'what did you just call me?' all too ready to verbally throw down. But after a few moments, one of her fellow serving girls had taken pity on the sputtering man and pulled Kendrick to the side to explain what it meant because the girl realized the difference in how the young archer spoke and had surmised that there must have been a misunderstanding.

And surprise, surprise! There was.

Wench to the people of Skyrim meant country lass or working girl but to people from the real world, it was taken as something insulting, similar but not quite as offensive as being called a bitch. But needless to say, she had apologized to the patron and called it a day.

Shaking the memory from her mind, Kendrick watched as a blonde woman wandered into the bar and knew that it was Yolanda - or was it Yandy? She didn't bother to memorize names since she was leaving as soon as she could - come to relieve her of her shift.

Sighing to herself she nodded to the other waitress and moved towards her room.

Once inside Kendrick immediately locked her door and collapsed down on her bed - that she had cleaned off and restuffed with fresh straw because _hell no_ she wasn't going to sleep on something so dirty.

Cradling her head on her arm she went over her plans for the immediate future - which of course had her bar job in it - but also now included finding a way to get to the Mage College.

Kendrick couldn't use magic - or at least she _thought_ she couldn't but she _also_ thought she'd never end up in a video game and look where _that_ got her - but there was knowledge there. There was information on portals, summonings, and beyond stored in their libraries and she knew for a _fact_ that there was a mission with the Psijics that had to do with an artifact that could open dimensions or something of the like.

If anything it was some sort of magic that got her here and magic could get her out but she had to figure out what kind of mystic shit did the job.

But first she had to get to the college and that required some delicate planning.

Kendrick couldn't just go off one day, especially considering she didn't really know anything about the geography of Skyrim and she would almost certainly die out there by herself. Although she went and practiced her archery in safe seclusion every day like clockwork, she wasn't prepared to go and travel on her lonesome. At all.

Which was why she would need to get an escort - preferably more than one. Kendrick didn't know if she could find any reputable people to hire here but if all else failed she'd go to Whiterun and pay some Companions to go with her. But she would rather she find some other for hires to get her from point A to point B if possible.

She wouldn't involve such a large scale group if she could help it.

The next thing she would have to take care of was proper clothing, she didn't know if it ever wasn't cold or snowing at the college but she wasn't willing to risk it meaning she needed some winter appeal. Thicker pants, thicker socks, and a thicker shirt. Some gloves, a hat, and a scarf wouldn't exactly go amiss either. Her Doc Martens would serve her well with trekking through freezing weather so that front was held down but she might need a better bag if the wind was tenacious.

Kendrick had been working here for nigh a month - three fucking weeks away from her home in Denver - and she had collected her pay every Sunday - or Sundas - which totaled five to seven septums depending. The amount that she was receiving was ultimately frustrating but there was no workers union here and according to the other girls, this was quite a high pay considering they could getting only two or three per week.

She missed minimum wage.

Sighing she sat up and got on the floor, using her hands she lifted the first two layers of hay and retrieved her coin pouch. Careful to keep the jingling of money to herself, Kendrick counted her coins and nodded when she saw that she had one hundred and twenty-four septums left.

Balgruuf had given her one hundred fifteen originally and she had twenty-five from the skeleton but she had spent five days here before getting her job so she had spent fifty of her gold, totaling ninety left over. But she had earned thirty-four back while working here - fourteen of which came from tips and nineteen from her actual pay. Carefully she put the money back into the pouch and considered whether or not to ask Sigrid and Alvor if she could keep her savings in their home for safekeeping.

She didn't want her stash to be stolen because she was almost halfway to the goal she wanted before she went and investigated some escorts. Two hundred was a nice round number and Kendrick hoped that would be enough to convince a trustworthy group to take her to the college.

Sighing despondently to herself, Kendrick went over the math in her head again.

If she averaged the minimum amount of pay weekly which was five coins then each month she'd make fifteen annually. In order to make close to one hundred, she would have to work maybe six months. But if she averaged the maximum pay which was seven, she'd get twenty-one in three weeks and would only have to work four to five more months at the tavern. And that wasn't counting tips.

Closing her eyes, Kendrick felt them burn and she rubbed at her face and suppressed a sniffle.

She didn't think she could wait that long.

But did she have any other choice?

Sighing to herself, Kendrick let out a shuddering breath and looked down at her slim brown fingers.

"I need to do research on groups now so I know what I need to earn up to." She told herself resolutely. "Maybe I could ask around for some friendly sell swords?"

Abruptly she snorted, yeah those barely existed.

"Despite not wanting to I'm going to go with the Companions on this one." Kendrick murmured as she put the gold away. "At least I know they won't rape and kill me in the middle of our journey."

Now she only needed to figure out how much they charged.

Nodding to herself the young archer undressed, slid into a thin nightdress Sigrid had supplied to her and stared up at the ceiling until she managed to fall asleep.

* * *

Waking up the next morning to the sound of sharp knocking on her door, Kendrick wiped the sleep from her eyes and peered blearily up from her bed.

"Who is it?" She called and when she heard a muffled 'Delphine wants us to see in twenty minutes' come through the wood she grimaced minutely.

She didn't really like the woman, especially since in the game she had dragged her on that stupid Thalmor quest for no fucking reason, had the gall to demand she kill Paarthurnax and then when she didn't refuse to help her any further.

She was kind of a self-important bitch.

But never the less she was _also_ her boss which was why she quickly scrambled out of bed and out her door.

Just like every morning, she slipped on her shoes, grabbed the bucket she got from Alvor and moseyed on over to the water pump in the back of the inn. Huffing as she strained to push the lever up and down - it was getting a little easier each day - Kendrick filled it up three-quarters of the way and quickly made her way back inside.

Upon reaching the sanctity of her room, the dark-haired girl took out the new bar of soap Sigrid made for her recently and set it to the side. Moving over to the chair in the corner, she grabbed the leather skin tarp and spread it about the floor so that she could wash without wetting up the ground entirely.

Stripping out of her clothes, she dipped the soap into the bucket and ran the rough thing over her skin. Kendrick had to make it quick - especially since it took maybe ten minutes to even get the water in the first place - and as Kendrick gave herself her daily wash up, she longed for that wooden bath in Alvor's house despite how uncomfortable it had been.

Taking the little cup from under her bed, she dipped the thing into the water and poured it down her body to ensure any suds were gone and when she was thoroughly doused she picked up the square towel-like thing she was given by Delphine and dried herself off as best she could.

Slipping on her second pair of underwear - the pair Kendrick got from Sigrid - she looked over to her bag filled with her old clothes and decided to wash her normal pair of panties and her sports bar tonight with her old bath water in the bucket.

Pulling her on her dress from the day before, she inwardly bristled at the thought of putting on dirty clothes after washing herself and sighed.

Sitting down on her bed, she dried off her feet slipped on her pair of socks along with her boots and nodded. Leaving the water on the tarp to sit until she got off her shift, she decided that if there was anything left on it when she got back she would use it to scrub her floor. Stepping over it, she wrapped up her soap and quickly left her room, braiding her long wily hair - that was surely suffering without conditioner - into a tight twist as she went. Spying a few of the other girls already lined up, Kendrick knew she was the last one and was pleased that Delphine wasn't there yet.

Good, this way she wouldn't have to hear her mouth first thing in the morning.

"Do you know what this is about?" She softly asked the girl next to her and she got a nod

"Aye," The Nord woman answered. "Mrs. Delphine is going to travel to meet her cousin in the mountains."

Absently she quirked a brow because wow what a _total_ _lie_ , she told the girl thanks and faced forward just in time for the Blade to stroll into the room.

Long story short, the woman brought them here to say she was indeed leaving and that they should mind Orgnar. Chiming in with a "Yes ma'am." when prompted, Kendrick watched as Delphine nodded and dismissed them.

"Have breakfast and then start preparing the bar for customers." She instructed as she headed back down to her secret Dragon hunting dungeon. "And don't worry about your pay, Orgnar will hand it out if I'm not back in time."

 _He better_ , Kendrick thought as she moved towards one of the plates with a sweet roll and a slice of some kind of meat on it, _because I'm not working for free._

* * *

The day had gone on relatively smooth - if she didn't count the fact that the tavern was ripe with gossip on the dragons and how the one close to Riverwood woke almost every morning to terrorize the people of Skyrim.

Gripping the handle of the tankard harder than necessary she carried it over to Sven and smiled when the bard took a deep sip.

"Long day?" She asked the man and received a chuckle in reply.

"Long month." He corrected as he set his lute against his chair. "With all these damn magical lizards flying around, I'm hard pressed not to believe that isn't all a dream."

Kendrick paused and gave a hesitant smile.

"Yeah," She said. "I def know what you mean."

Sven nodded, even though he shot her a strange look at her word choice.

"And that rumor that they won't stay dead?" He said with a disgusted shake of his head. "I wouldn't believe a word of it if I hadn't seen one damn near rise out of the ground outside of Riften."

She swallowed.

"Isn't there someone that could help?"

The blond shook his head.

"If there was they would have already come forward." He said as he took a sip of his drink. "And if they haven't, then may Talos have mercy on their selfish soul."

And Kendrick didn't know why but she flinched - _hard_.

Gathering herself up, she tried to smile politely at Sven but it probably came out as a grimace and the young archer excused herself to get back to work, ignoring the way he called for her in worried curiosity.

 _This was not her fault._

And she truly believed it wasn't - but there hadn't been another person on that cart to Helgen which was why after her shift she had gotten Sven to walk her to Whiterun under the pretense of visiting family. The kind-hearted bard had felt bad for unknowingly setting her off earlier - he assumed it was because said such harsh words - and promptly agreed.

Now sitting on the bed of an Inn whose name that she couldn't remember, Kendrick _worried_.

She had received the same intro and lines as the main character, she had gone home with Hadvar and had even traveled to the Jarl. The dragons weren't staying dead because the Dragonborn either didn't exist, was laying low, or it was _her_.

Swallowing to herself, Kendrick slipped on the hood of the all-black ensemble she had worn when visiting Balgruuf and her hands trembled as she picked up her bow and arrows.

She had to go check on the corpse of the dragon, she had to go see for herself if anything would happen so she wouldn't have to feel guilty about anything. Besides it couldn't be her, she didn't live here, she cared nothing for this world and it didn't bode well for the Divines to make the girl who would leave this universe to burn for a chance to go home in charge of _anyone's_ salvation.

Nodding to herself, Kendrick made to grab for her bag but then paused. She had left that and her other important belongings back at Alvor's for safe keeping.

But habits were hard to shake.

Sighing, she stood and exited her room and eventually the inn. It was still dark and the sun wouldn't be up for a few hours but Kendrick thought the cover of night would serve her better in what she was about to do.

Moving down the cobbled walkway, Kendrick breathed deeply to herself and clenched a single hand around her weapon.

"You can do this." She whispered to herself. " _You have to do this_."

Squaring her shoulders she resisted the urge to jog her way out of Whiterun's gate and instead calmly trekked out under the watchful eye of the city guards. Hearing the entrance thud closed behind her, Kendrick made her way out towards the field so that she could double back to where she knew the dragon was without being seen.

According to the gossip in Whiterun's tavern, the beast would rise as the sun did, so she didn't have to worry about it waking up. She just had to mind the soldiers who would be guarding it.

Huffing faintly as she leaned down next to a boulder, her eyes widened as she spied the lax form of the drake. Licking her lips, she peered at it for a minute longer before looking up at the tower where a man stood watch.

There were planted lanterns around the beast's body and that made it impossible to get too close but she didn't need to be right next to it to trigger the process.

She just needed to be within a reasonable distance.

Swallowing against her fear, she crept nearer - her eyes ever watchful of the guards above and the dragon in front of her.

Which was why it came as a surprise when the feeling of a sharp tip against her spine appeared. Now the person behind her might have said something but it was cut off when she bolted forward into the light surrounding the dead dragon.

And Kendrick would have liked to say that nothing happened as soon as she was a few feet away, she would like to say that the body stayed whole and that no golden light surged up and into her body but that's _exactly_ what happened.

And the feeling of a whole other soul entering her body? It was like bathing in fire.

Kendrick couldn't decide if she was burning to death or being reborn in flames.

She could hear herself scream and could feel hands grabbing at her arms and abruptly she stopped, panting harshly from behind her scarf and as a hand reached out to move it she hissed.

" **Don't**." She rumbled out, voice ripe with power as she pushed the man away and curled in on herself.

There was a dragon talking to her in her head and she didn't know what to do.

Groaning she grabbed at her head and shuddered at the sound of the Greybeard's summons shaking the earth and that was when she heard it.

She heard it and she couldn't stomach it no matter how she tried to swallow.

Someone called her Dragonborn and Kendrick _lost_ it.

Jumping to her feet she drew her bow and arrows and pointed it at the nearest guard.

Her vision trembled throbbed in time with her heart and she felt feverish and she swore to _god_ she would shoot any asshole who came near her.

" _ **Don't**_ _. Fucking._ _ **Move**_." She growled out as the man in front of her took a step forward and when she caught movement from behind him she switched the aim of her notch.

" _I'm leaving_." She said, the pressure in her throat building like knives in her trachea. " _And_ _ **no one**_ _is going to stop me_."

And Kendrick didn't know how she heard it but the sound of a bowstring being pulled taught drew her eyes towards the man atop the tower and she snarled.

" _Don't shoot_!" The man in front of her shouted and Kendrick's gaze snapped back to him. "Did you not see what I saw? Even as the Greybeards call her to them, you would strike down the _Dragonborn_?"

" **Shut up**!" She very well screamed and like she had cast a curse on them, their mouths fell shut.

" _I'm. Leaving_." She growled out as she took a step back. "And if you follow me I will _kill_ each and every last one of you."

But then she paused, feeling the heaviness in the back of her throat and she knew that these men wouldn't just let her walk away. It would be near treason if they did.

Which meant she needed to make them let her go.

There were about five of them she could see in front of her and that didn't count the ones who were probably hidden and so Kendrick did what she needed to do.

She shouted.

" **Fus**!" She barked and was thoroughly winded when she saw the men fly back into the ground.

And without a second's hesitation, she turned and fled, hissing out a clumsy " **Wuld Nah Kest**!" that left her one hundred feet away from where she started with dots dancing in her eyes and her chest feeling crushed.

She vomited harshly onto the ground.

Coughing to herself she wiped at her mouth and scrambled up on shaky legs, almost keeling over in the process. Staggering, she headed towards the woods and ripped the scarf off of her face. Jogging clumsily towards the road leading back to Riverwood, she tugged at her black shirt and lifted it to show a gray tunic underneath. Fumbling, she shifted her bow and arrows to the ground and untied her boots so that she could strip off her leather pants to reveal the tight jeans underneath.

She couldn't wear the same clothes back to Riverwood, even if she looked more suspicious wearing her clothes from home.

Shoving back on her boots as she folded her clothes back up into her scarf Kendrick stumbled through the trees until she reached the rushing stream to her right. Bending down she lifted up a few rocks and tied them into the bundle with the clothes and sunk the whole thing in the water.

Gasping to herself as she watched the evidence drowned she could feel nothing but dread.

She was fucked.

 _So very fucking fucked._

Tensing as she heard the sound of voices in the distance, she got up and _bolted_.

Everything was in a panic.

Her heart seemed to beat too loud and her blood seemed to be too hot for her veins to handle and with a groan, she realized that her nose was gushing blood.

She didn't know where she was after a passing by the same tree five times now - or was it different? Everything looked the same - so when she tripped on the edge of a rock and hit the ground, she didn't get up.

Instead, she lifted her bleary eyes and looked around the forest and crawled her bruise of a body under the bush she spied to her right. Curling up into a ball under the shade of the shrub, Kendrick wrapped her arms around herself and promptly passed out.

Her dreams were anything but pleasant.

* * *

 **Kendrick is outedlol. And she passed out in the forest. I really like the chapter! And I hope you guys do too.**

* * *

 **Question 1: What did you think about the scene where she finds out about being the Dragonborn?**

 **Question 2: What did you think about her plan for what to do to get home?**

 **Question 3: What do you think is going to happen next?**

 **Question 4: Kendrick knows a little self-defense but only situational stuff geared towards resisting sexual assault. Do you think knowing a bit of defense will help her?**

 **Question 5: How did you feel about her shouting? She only knows like three by heart so don't fear and they left her dizzy since she used them without caution.**

 **Question 6: As I mentioned above Kendrick can hear the voices of a dragon soul in her head until they eventually get absorbed. The stronger dragons that she eats won't be absorbed so they'll always be in her head as mental companions: I plan for 4 dragons to be permanent fixtures. What do you think about that?**

 **Question 7: I also plan for Kendrick to develop some Dragon qualities. Like better sight, smell, taste, touch, hearingetc etc. What do you think?**

* * *

 **Thank you for reading! I'm glad people like this idea.**

* * *

 **Edit: 6/18/17**


	8. Dovnaak

Kendrick woke to the sound of the Greybeards call and it struck fear into her heart.

Swallowing against the dryness of her mouth, Kendrick groaned at the pounding headache and pressure in her chest as she tried her hardest to ignore the resonant chanting until _finally_ it stopped and she was granted a momentary peace.

That was, until a sick feeling nestled into her core and she jerked upright.

Rolling over and up onto her knees as her stomach roiled, the young girl's back arched sharply as she dry heaved angrily onto the ground beneath her.

Coughing out a groan as she clumsily wiped at the bile clinging to her lips, she grimaced and picked up the arrows that had fallen out of her quiver. Nodding to herself when she saw that she had nearly every single one back in her possession, the young archer crawled out from under her bush and paused fearfully when she caught sight of a trio of Whiterun guards staring at her from the dirt road.

Licking her lips, Kendrick grimaced at the taste on her tongue - vomit and blood did not mix well - and rubbed the palms of her hands on her pants and resisted the urge to send the men sprawling into the nearby trees with a single shout.

 _ **Dovnaak**_ **,** a voice inside of her growled and she froze, **why do you hesitate to strike down those you view as** _ **hin hokoron**_ **?**

Muscles tensing to an almost painful degree, Kendrick forced a bashful smile to her face as she rubbed the back of her neck and she shyly peeked up at the soldier from underneath her lashes.

" _W-wild night_." She croaked out, voice trembling with the weight of the Thu'um she was struggling to hold back and with a few understanding - and possibly disgusted - hums, the trio of men in front her began to lose interest.

"There's dry blood on your face - do you require assistance?" One of them asked even as his companions started to move on and Kendrick shook her head frantically.

"Uh - m-my mother wouldn't um, take _kindly_ to seeing me being escorted home by a soldier," She joked as she forcefully swallowed down the urge that wanted to change her words into things of power - and it _hurt_. "so if - if you could pretend you _didn't_ witness me mid-hangover that would be _fantastic -_ and I probably brained myself when I passed out in the bushes."

Que an awkward laugh that did absolutely nothing to dispel the tense atmosphere and the man paused before he hesitantly moved to join his squad further on.

"If you're sure lass," He acquiesced. "get home safe, there are still dragons on the loose."

Swallowing to herself - because oh god they expected _her_ to deal with that - she gave him a shaky grin and nod and waited until she could barely see their backs before she forced her body to get up and move towards the sound of rushing water. Stumbling her way over rocks and hedges, the moment Kendrick reached the river she fell to her knees and gritted her teeth against the twin jolts of pain that shot up the length of her legs.

Feeling her chest and throat burn with the literal need for release, Kendrick quickly dunked her head underwater and _screamed_.

And if she wanted to cry when the resultant force expelled a chunk of water from the riverbed that pelted down hard on her back, well then nobody had to know.

Raising herself away from the bank, she gulped in air frantically and sunk her face into her palms with a groan that rattled her bones.

Kendrick was the Dragonborn.

Kendrick couldn't control her abilities.

Kendrick needed help. _Now_.

Her plans to go to the college or even to continue her job at Riverwood was a moot point now - she couldn't _work_ like this!

 _ **Daar los tum hi**_ **,** something without a name rumbled out from within her thoughts and she shuddered. **serving one who is weaker is not the way of a** _ **vahzah Dov**_ **.**

Tightening her fingers in her hair to a near hurtful degree, the outworlder cursed all of the inaccuracies her knowledge of Skyrim and its lore was giving her. There was nothing in the series that even _hinted_ at the devoured dragon souls staying in the Dragonborn's mind - because she knew innately that's what this bullshit was - but it was just _her_ luck that this would happen.

After all, if she could end up in a completely different universe than anything was possible.

Slowly she huffed to herself and lowered her hands until she could stare down at her jeans.

Kendrick didn't _want_ the responsibility of being what was needed to save the goddamn world. She didn't _want_ to deal with death around every corner and she didn't _want_ anything to do with Skyrim. Kendrick remembered how it was in the game with all those ungrateful and rude assholes who acted as if she was just _supposed_ risk her life to keep theirs safe and it had irritated her to the point where she started killing the ingrates and reloading her previous save.

But she couldn't just take out her frustrations like that anymore, especially since it was suddenly _real_.

Sighing to herself she rubbed her sweaty palms on her pants and nibbled on the inside of her cheek. Kendrick needed her money and her backpack and she had to go back to Riverwood to get it. Ambling shakily to her feet, the young archer followed the line of the water by her side against the rushing current - _Sigrid had told her if she was ever lost then she could tell the direction of Whiterun and Riverwood by the way the river flowed_ \- and she couldn't very well go back to the former.

That entire town was likely on high alert looking for her and she was glad she had the common sense to cover her face when she had the chance. Trudging carefully back to the town, Kendrick pulled the bow from her back along with an arrow and notched it as she glared through the dense woods.

She needed a new disguise as soon as she was able, Kendrick decided, but her current form was fine for public consumption since no one could connect her with the Dragonborn.

Sure if they searched hard enough they could possibly figure out that she was the girl who went and talked to the Jarl but it was a stretch and a half to even _try_ to assume that the scared kid who had met with Balgruuf was the same as the person who ate a dragon's soul.

That is if they even knew the Dragonborn was female. It had been dark and everything had been too confusing to truly understand. Besides, Kendrick knew many would assume it was a young strapping Nord male with flowing blond hair, shining blue eyes, and a patriotic complex large enough to replace his ego and she smiled grimly to herself at the irony. It was really too bad that instead of that, they got saddled with an African American girl who couldn't care less about anything going on here beyond the forces that brought her to this shit hole.

She was not going to fight Alduin, not even if they begged her to.

There was a rough snort that echoed in the space of her head at her words and Kendrick narrowed her dark eyes.

Licking her lips, she bit the proverbial bullet and with an air of irritated hesitancy, she finally deigned to address the psyche residing in her.

 _Is there a problem?_ She thought acidly and for a moment she thought that the dragon inside of her couldn't hear what she said but then she heard a deep rumbling laugh that made her instantly regret making any sort of psychic contact and knew he had been listening quite _attentively_.

 _Nevermind._ She gulped, picking up her pace as if she could outrun the sound of dark merriment in her mind. _Never fucking mind._

Clenching her hands into fists, Kendrick felt her eyes sting and bit her lip to keep from breaking down.

She _refused_ to let anyone in this world see her cry - _even if_ it was a dragon that was stuck in her head that couldn't tell a single soul about it.

God, she hated Skyrim.

* * *

 **Dovnaak: dragon eater**

 **Hin hokoron: your enemy**

 **Daar los tum hi: that is below you**

 **Vahzah Dov: true dragon**

* * *

 **So Kendrick woke up and has decided she needs help! And she needs a new plan for the time being.**

* * *

 **Question 1: What do you think about her first dragon interaction?**

 **Question 2: What do you think about Kendrick needing actual training on how to control her Thu'um? In the game, you kind of had it down to a science immediately but you needed the words but here, she needs to learn how to keep her Thu'um from affecting normal speech and stuff.**

 **Question 3: Based on what you know of Kendrick's character do you think she'll seek out the Greybeards for help or try to figure it out on her own? Why and why not? (I mean I already know what she's gonna do but I'm curious about what you guys think of her).**

 **Question 4: What kind of Dragonborn do you think Kendrick is going to be? Why? And how do you think the public would view this young and obviously scared girl who is supposed to be their Savior?**

 **Question 5: Who would you like Ken to meet the most and why?**

* * *

 **Lol I can't wait to Jarl Ulfric or the General to meet Ken again, she doesn't like either of them but Ulfric less so.**

* * *

 **Edit: 6/29/17**


	9. On The Fly

**Disclaimer: I don't own Skyrim but I own Kendrick.**

* * *

" **This** / _this_ "- Mental speech.

 _ **"This"**_ \- Dragon tongue/Thu'um.

* * *

Kendrick arrived in Riverwood jittery as fuck with her arrows safely tucked back into the quiver and eyes cast down at the ground.

Glancing around, she took notice of the new guards surrounding the area and made a beeline straight for Sigrid's house. Slipping a hand into her pocket in search of the key, Kendrick closed her eyes tightly against the acute irritation she could feel building in her stomach when she couldn't find it.

 _She must have dropped it in the goddamn forest._

Taking a deep breath - because she could already feel the tightness in her throat - Kendrick instead raised her hand and knocked. Waiting almost impatiently for the door to open, she smiled when someone finally answered but was quick to frown when she saw that it was Dorthe and not one of the adults.

"Are you home alone?" Kendrick blurted out and the small child beamed and nodded?

"Mother says that I'm old enough to be trusted here while they go off to the market!" She chirped sounding as proud as can be and the young archer furrowed her brow.

"You shouldn't open the door when it's just you here." She scolded, intent on getting her point across but when Kendrick felt the presence in her mind shift to attention, she paused and shook her head.

"Nevermind," She muttered with a sigh. "Just - _don't_ do it again."

Quickly moving inside, she spotted her bag in the corner of the room and hefted it up until it sat on the table. Looking inside Kendrick was pleased to note that her bag of gold was still present and that the potions she had gotten when she had first come here were still corked and untouched. Shifting the items around, she nodded at the sight of her spare pair of underwear, wrapped up soap bars, wash rag, and small dagger - happy that she had yet another way to defend herself.

Even though she couldn't use it properly.

 _Sure_ she knew how to stab and hack but anybody with an iota of finesse could best her - which meant she needed to practice handling it and keeping it on her body. And in order to get used to it being on her person, Kendrick needed to get a sheath that wrapped around her waist and maybe even a cloak to keep herself warm and concealed when need be.

She could go to the traders and get the latter but the former could be found here at Alvor's workshop.

"What are you doing?" The curious young girl asked and Kendrick paused and weighed her words carefully before she came to a decision.

"Dorthe," She began as she turned around. "do you wanna be a big girl and help me with something?"

And although a part of the young Nord child definitely balked at the insinuation that she wasn't _already_ grown, the girl still nodded enthusiastically at the thought of doing anything for the young archer who had seen a dragon.

Admiration was a great and terrible thing.

"Great!" Kendrick rumbled and then cleared her throat to break up the tightness nestled there. It barely helped. "I need you to find me a strap - you know, the kind that holds a knife in it."

Licking her lips, the dark haired girl smiled shakily.

"Do you think you can do that for me?" She asked softly and Dorthe beamed.

"Of course!" She grinned, cornflower eyes shining. "I help Da in the forge _all_ the time."

Scampered off further into the house, the blonde opened the door to the back room and glanced around.

"I'll be right back!" She shouted to her and Kendrick was left alone.

Taking in another shuddering breath, the outworlder blinked and turned back to her bag.

Turning to stare at the bread sitting on the table, Kendrick felt her stomach give a grumble and without a moment's hesitation she took a loaf and tore into it. Groaning at the taste, she gave a sniff of the air and her head snapped over to her left towards the pot of still warm stew hanging over the fire pit and she grabbed one of the many bowls resting on the table top.

Wandering over the young archer picked up the ladle and damn near ate from the cauldron when her manners forced her to pause and then to dump it all into the container held at her fingertips. Barely having the patience to grab a spoon, she instead brought the wooden rim to her lips and tipped her head back - and damn near _choked_ herself in the process but that was the least of her worries.

The overwhelming feeling of hunger was center stage at the moment and before she knew it, she had downed three bowls and Dorthe was back and giggling at her.

" _Wow_ ," She laughed as Kendrick paused and flushed with mild shame at her lack of decorum. "you musta been _real_ hungry for Mama's cooking!"

And at that, the elder girl cracked a ragged grin as she took the loaf of half-eaten bread in her hand and dipped it into the remaining stew in her bowl.

"You have no idea." She jokingly admitted as she practically stuffed the morsel into her mouth and the blonde child's eyes lit up in glee.

"You're funny!" The Nord girl declared as she almost skipped closer and took a seat at the table.

"I got what you asked for." Dorthe announced as she lifted the belt in her left hand and Kendrick paused when she saw that there was already a blade in it.

"Oh." She muttered as she set down the empty platter and moved across the room the take the weapon from Dorthe's hands. "Were there any empty ones?"

The younger girl shook her head.

"No," She confirmed. "Da makes every sheath with a knife, he calls it a package deal."

Frowning, Kendrick flipped the button on the leather carrier and gripped the hilt of the blade. Sucking in a breath at the sight of the bright silver of the curved metal as she pulled it out, Kendrick marveled at the fact that it was the length of half her forearm and cast a glance back at the old dagger resting on the table.

The one Alvor made was far better than the dingy thing she stole from a skeleton.

Swallowing she strode over to her bag and pulled out her coin purse. Opening it up, she cast Dorthe considering glance.

"Will ten gold pieces cover it?" She asked and the blonde child paused in consideration before nodding. " _Good_."

Taking out the correct amount, she closed it back up, set her new blade down on the table and moved towards the door.

"I'll be back soon." She told the other girl who perked up to attention at her words. "I have to go to the traders and then to the tavern to pick up a few things, lock the door behind me."

Without waiting for a confirmation, Kendrick was out of the house and across the way to the small shop and she hesitated when there was no one at the counter. Slowly she raised one hand and knocked on the wooden desk, prompting a man to exit from the backrooms.

"Welcome to the Riverwood Trader!" He greeted with a cheery smile and Kendrick gave a weak one back. "I'm Lucan Valerius, what can I do for you today?"

Pausing, she read off the mental list she wrote up in her head and nodded.

"Do you have like - thin leather armor?" Kendrick asked as she looked around. "And a bundle of arrows? And a cloak? And like - three? _Three_ minor healing potions?"

Humming in consideration, the man wandered over to the wall of merchandise and rummaged around.

"You seem to be a bit on a smaller side so the armors I have may be loose on you," He confessed as he pulled out a couple sets of clothes. "but you can go try these on in the back room and pick out which one feels the most natural."

Nodding as she clutched them to her chest, she paused and licked her lips.

"Are these washed?" The outworlder asked hesitantly and the man nodded with a knowing smile.

"Weekly."

Nodding to herself, Kendrick followed him as he led her through the back rooms and into a little cubby and she waited until she could no longer hear his footsteps before setting down her load.

And she waited for a _bit_ more before daring to take off her clothes because even though Lucan in the game didn't show any signs of being a predator, a lot changed when fiction became reality. Making quick work of her boots, jeans, and sweater she picked up the smallest looking set of bottoms and pulled it on.

Glancing down at the leather and cloth pants, she grimaced when she squatted down and realized they were good for fashionable wear but for someone who needed to be agile _and_ mobile - not so much.

Feeling a pang of homesickness as she peeled the clothes from her legs - _if Kendrick were in Denver she would have bought it without a moment's hesitation_ \- she tried on the third pair and found that they hung a little loose on her thighs and calves but were tight enough around her hips with the aid of the belt they came with and she hummed as she did some test lunges.

Pleased that they were a good choice for what she needed, she cast one last longing look at the leather pants to her left and sighed.

Picking up the corresponding top piece to the pants she was currently wearing, Kendrick eyed it before setting it down in favor of picking up the matching armored shirt for the first pair of leathers she had tried on. Pulling the collar over her head, she realized it was a perfect fit but swallowed at the fact that in this outfit, the slight pudge that used to cling to her midsection was startlingly absent.

In fact, her hips were more pronounced than usual and it made her feel kind of sick.

A bit self-consciously Kendrick poked at her stomach but then shook her head.

She wasn't here to look _good_ for anyone, she was here to _survive_.

 _By any means necessary._

 _ **Kul**_ , the Dragon - _Mirmulnir she recalled now that her mind was right_ \- purred from within her and Kendrick paused. **You have the** _ **fen wah krif**_ **within you, maybe Dovnaak, you have some** _ **yol**_ **yet.**

Swallowing down the urge go ask him what those unknown words meant, Kendrick instead shakily stuffed her feet into her boots - she didn't bother lacing them up - and gathered up the clothes before she swept from the room.

He terrified her.

Moving back down the hallway, Kendrick paused when she saw the shopkeeper and hefted up the leathers in her arms.

"I'm gonna buy what I'm wearing." She told him as she handed him his extra armor - she kept her original clothes, though - and the man nodded as he gestured for her to follow him.

Moving to stand on the other side of the wooden desk, she eyed the arrows and almost dingy gray cloak on the table and shrugged.

Beggars can't be choosers.

"How much?" Kendrick asked and the man turned to face her.

"Twenty-one gold." He told her. "The whole armor ensemble is ten altogether - five for each piece, the twenty arrows are currently being sold as a bundle so it's three for that, the cloak is two, and the three potions cost two each."

Nodding - because that was actually a good deal - she took out her gold pouch from her jean pockets and paid him in full - making sure to ignore the sour taste in her mouth as she parted ways with her well-earned money.

"It was a pleasure doing business with you!" He beamed as he pocketed his pay and Kendrick gave him a small smile in return.

"Thank you." She murmured as she picked up her things and fumbled out the door. Sighing as it closed behind her, she realized that she had lost thirty-one septums in all and was now down to ninety-three coins.

Setting down her arrows and potions, she swept the cloak out and noted it was like a hood with a cape. Shrugging it on, she noted with a little annoyance that it damn near fell to her ankles but she acknowledged that it was light enough to not be too cumbersome. Picking up her things, she walked to the tavern and pushed open the door as she beelined straight for the bar.

Delphine wouldn't be here so that was good - she didn't need a lot of scrutiny while she was leaving.

"Hey Orgnar." Kendrick greeted with a small wave and the barman nodded to her.

"You were missing today." He said as he set down the cup he was polishing and she gave him her best sheepish smile.

"My mother was staying in Whiterun and she wanted me to come visit her to make sure I was safe, you know, with all that's going on she was worried." She lied smoothly. "And after going to see her, I've decided that I need to be closer to home - she's getting on in age and with trouble popping up all over the place, she needs someone to watch over her and _god knows_ my brother won't be any help."

Spotting the sympathetic look in his dark eyes once she reached the end of her spiel, Kendrick felt a sharp stab of relief and was ever thankful that these people knew next to nothing about her - which meant she could tell them just about anything and there was no way for them to refute it.

"So you'll be quitting then?" He asked her and she made sure to nod apologetically. "Well, I'll give you your last week of pay and you can be off to your home."

Watching as he reached down beneath the counter and pulled out a tiny sack of coins, she smiled when he handed her the purse.

"There's the seven from this week and five in tips." He grinned. "You were missed today."

Feeling her spirits soar for a minute, Kendrick resisted the urge to kiss the man across from her but she settled on a hug.

Just because she hated it here didn't mean she couldn't be kind.

" _Thank you_." Kendrick told him sincerely as she pulled back and Orgnar smiled.

"Anytime lass," He said. "now off you go - your mother is probably wondering where you are."

Nodding the dark haired girl gave him one last wave and practically sprinted across the way back to Sigrid's home and paused with her fist raised to bang against the door. Once Kendrick went inside, she would _have_ to leave - there was no question about that seeing as how she hardly felt _safe_ being so close to Whiterun. And already there were too many guards coming through and Kendrick needed to relocate but to where, she wasn't exactly sure.

And she knew - _she knew_ \- that not having a plan was not the best position to be in but she was running on fumes and panic at this point and if she had to camp out in a tree and sleep on a branch for a few nights while she got her shit together - _then so be it._

Steeling her nerves, she knocked and smiled when Dorthe opened the door and the young archer moved inside and over to her bag.

"I'm going to be leaving soon." She announced to the girl as she folded her potions into her sweater and jeans to stop them from making too much noise while in her pack before setting it all inside. "Which is why I need you to tell anyone who asks about me that I went to go live with my mother and her and I are moving out east."

Walking over to the cabinet in the corner, she opened it up and took out a lump of wrapped up, dried out meat and set it inside her bag - noting that it was halfway full after she added the beef. Nodding, Kendrick took two wedges of cheese and three small sweet rolls and placed them in a spare cloth that she had found in the cupboard. Setting the extra provisions inside, she buttoned the bag closed and hefted it up using the dual straps and was pleased to note that it had weight but wasn't _heavy_.

Sliding it onto her shoulders so that she was wearing it backward, Kendrick picked up her new arrows and put them into her quiver and slid that on so that it was resting on her back.

Knowing she had to at least look a _little_ stupid, she comforted herself with that knowledge that carrying her bag like this was easier and more convenient that wearing it the right way. Reaching over she lifted her sheath and buckled it around her waist as she eyed the way it was just _short_ of loose.

Shrugging it off, Kendrick palmed her bow and turned to look at the wide-eyed Dorthe who looked ready to protest.

"I'll be off now," She told the younger girl softly. "But I'll sure to visit if I can."

Seeing the child clam up, she was a little startled to note that the girl had rushed up to hug her but she returned the affection in her own awkward way nevertheless.

"Have dinner with me before you go?" Dorthe muttered as she peered up at her with large sparkling eyes and Kendrick shifted. "I _know_ you already ate but you liked it _right_? Surely you'll eat a bit more with me?"

The young archer paused and then looked over at the food and realized that she _was_ still feeling a bit peckish and that this was sure to be the last time she would ever see the girl again so it wouldn't _hurt_ to entertain Dorthe's whims just this once - and so she smiled.

"Just a quick little dine and dash." She agreed and Dorthe cheered. "I really have to get going before dark."

* * *

Kendrick was at the end of her rope.

When she had first started out on her journey, she managed to hitch a wagon ride with a farmer traveling to Windhelm but ended up hopping off after she was far enough from Riverwood for obvious reasons. From there she had asked the man for directions to the nearest town and for a while everything had been fine.

That was, until she ran into a pair of wolves and was chased halfway around the forest path.

It had been one of her worst experiences and that was truly saying something. Kendrick ended up "Fus Roh Dah-ing" the mangy flea bags a few feet away and while they had been getting their bearings, she had climbed a tree and started an aerial assault.

It took her well over thirty minutes to kill the things seeing as how they were smarter and more resilient than she gave any animal credit for.

But by the time she got down from her perch and found the road again, she had no idea where she was.

Which fucking sucked.

She was only lucky a river was nearby to give her the relief of guidance.

Kendrick had been walking alongside the water for maybe a few hours now and in that time she found that couldn't stop herself from shouting all the _fucking_ time!

She didn't know if nerves or heightened emotions of any kind that triggered the need to release her Thu'um but as she kept walking, howls kept howling, and the sky got darker Kendrick found herself riddled with near terror of the unknown and she tried futilely to swallow the power brewing in her throat.

 _I need you to help me._ She begged from inside her mind as fire raced through her veins and she gagged. _Or else we'll both end up fucked!_

Cape and packs discarded as her head was dunked deep into the river, Kendrick released the Thu'um that had been building inside her mouth for the better part of the hour and cringed as she felt just how raw her esophagus was.

Pulling back with a deep gasp, she fell onto her haunches and rubbed her neck as she blinked back the stinging tears bubbling in her eyes at the sharp pain.

Kendrick needed _help_ controlling her shouts but there was _no_ way she could go to the Greybeards - not when she had a _Dragon_ taking up residence in her mind who knew more than any mortal man ever could about the Way of the Voice. And at first she had resolved to not talk to the being inside her at all, but the pain was the perfect motivation.

Especially since she was a pussy.

 _I need you to train me,_ She beseeched to the silence in her head and something inside there shifted. _Or - or at least give me pointers._

And there was quiet before a snort sounded but when nothing else was offered, she bristled.

What the actual fuck?

Couldn't he see that she was _struggling_ here?

 _Look,_ She hurried to spit out, _if I don't figure_ this _out I'm gonna be in deep shit, and if I'm in deep shit I'll have to go to the Greybeards and from there on we'll both be in deep shit so please._

But still he said nothing and so she let her eyes fall shut and pushed down the mounting frustration - getting worked up only made it worse.

 _I'm begging,_ She whispered, _for the love of god, Mirmulnir -_

And suddenly he was roaring in her head.

 _And god there were no words to describe the pain._

Letting out a screech at the assault, Kendrick threw herself to the ground and curled in on herself. Clenching her fingers into the sides of her skull as her back arched sharply in agony, she could feel the beast's full attention shift towards her and it was a _horrible_ thing.

 _ **Hi lost ni ofaal fin vahzah wah bel zu'u naal zin!**_ He raged and she sobbed and cowered under the weight of his full regard. **You have not faced and bested me in** _ **grah**_ **nor do you bear the title of** _ **Grah-Zeymahzin**_ **,** _ **Fahdon**_ **, or** _ **Middovah!**_

The very foundations of her psyche trembled at his declaration and she dry heaved against the pressure.

 _ **Hi fen qiilaan wah zu'u kiir Dovnaak**_ **,** He thundered out and despite the fact that he wasn't physical, she was _sure_ he was looming over her. **There is no other option.**

Jerking away from the menace in his words, Kendrick pressed her screaming face into her knees and squeezed her eyes shut.

" _I'm sorry! I'm sorry!"_ She wailed but she knew he was no longer listening and she gave a deep rooted sob at the hot throb of pain that shot through her thoughts. " _I'm sorry! I'm sorry!"_

And if Kendrick laid there by the river crying and apologizing until the sun started to set, that was no one's business but her own.

* * *

 _ **Kul**_ \- **Good (as in moral goodness).**

 ** _Fen wah krif_ \- will to fight/struggle/battle especially to the death.**

 ** _Yol_ \- Fire.**

 ** _Hi lost ni ofaal fin vahzah wah bel zu'u naal zin!_ \- translates roughly to ' you have not earned the right to call/summon me by my name/honor. Since in my headcanon, Dragon's see names as Honor and the right to call another dragon by name is something that's earned.**

 ** _Grah_ \- Battle.**

 ** _Grah-Zeymahzin_ \- Battle companion, ally. A person who fights alongside someone in battle. Connotates loyalty but not subservience, an allegiance that is given as a matter of respect but not owed.**

 ** _Fahdon_ \- Friend, ally or companion. The dragon concept of friendship differs greatly from that of mortals, closer in meaning to 'ally' or 'companion'.**

 ** _Middovah_ \- Dragon loyalist or ally. Can only reference dragons.**

 ** _Hi fen qiilaan wah zu'u kiir Dovnaak_ \- You will submit/bow to me child Dragon eater.**

* * *

 **Ah! I'm so glad to have a new chapter out! And there's more dragon interactions yay! I'm really going to enjoy building up the relationships Kendrick creates. Mirmulnir will be one of the dragons that stay permanently because as her first soul, I think that he has some emotional importance lol. The other three have yet to be decided but if you guys have any suggestions, tell me.**

* * *

 **Question 1: How do you guys feel about the scenes where Kendrick went back and packed up to leave Riverwood?**

 **Question 2: How do you feel about her interactions with Mirmulnir in this chapter? What did you like and why? What do you want to see more of?**

 **Question 3: What do you think about how Mirmulnir reacted to Kendrick's (improper) use of his name? Why?**

 **Question 4: How do you think the relationship between Mirmulnir and Kendrick will develop and why?**

 **Question 5: Where do you think Kendrick should head to and why? Like which city or town etc etc.**

 **Question 6: Which Daedra/Aedra/Gods do you think will develop an interest in Kendrick and why? Do you think that interest will be good, bad, or neutral and why?**

* * *

 **Thank you for reading! I know there are errors but I'll fix them later today. Thank you all for your continued support! Until next time guys!**

* * *

 **Edit: 6/29/17**


	10. Unsettled

" **This** / _this_ "- Mental speech.

 **"** _ **This**_ **"** \- Dragon tongue/Thu'um.

* * *

Kendrick didn't think she could do this.

Kendrick didn't think she _wanted_ to do this but she didn't even have half of a choice in the matter because she _had_ to regardless of her personal preference. Huffing to herself she gathered the scattered and roughed up pieces of her resolve and decided that it was time to nut up and get a move on, lest she waste her weeks of labor and planning.

Slowly uncurling from her fetal position on the ground, the young Dragonborn - and she gagged at the thought - brought a single finger to the puffiness of her eyes and winced at the tenderness. Kendrick felt sluggish and off and she resisted the urge to throw up with a forced inhale and pure determination. Pushing herself to her knees, the outworlder sniffled and tipped her head back so that she could view the dusky sky and then swallowed down the cacophony of pure emotion that threatened to overwhelm her.

"You don't have time for this." She muttered as she forced her tired muscles to move and she stood upright. "You actually don't have time for a lot of things - but for _this_? You _especially_ have none."

Sighing, she rubbed her nose on her sleeve and hefted up her pack and her weapons and threw her cloak over her shoulder.

Glancing up, Kendrick knew she didn't have enough time to find a town - why did she waste so much crying? Wasn't she supposed to be _stronger_ than that? - and so the tree option was what had to suffice.

It was better than sleeping on the ground with the bears, wolves, and bandits and Kendrick was _damn_ lucky no one happened across her during her breakdown, else she would have been easy pickings for things with less than respectable intentions and she shivered at the thought. But nevertheless, the young archer thought it would be best to find a different area to take up residence in. Perhaps a bit further upstream in case something had caught wind of her presence and this way she could stay within view of her only source of water.

Nodding her head firmly, she sighed through the ache thudding in her head and speed walked her way to what she _assumed_ was north and tried not to pay any mind to how wobbly her steps were. Counting in her mind for sixty seconds ten times - which was approximately ten minutes - the young archer surmised that she was far enough away from her initial position and for a second she considered trekking through the night but her common sense talked her straight out of _that_ bad idea.

She needed to make haste yes, but she didn't want to lose her life in the process.

Moving off into the forest Kendrick surveyed as many as fifty trees before she found one that could even be climbed and closed her eyes in irritation when she noticed that it was too short to provide a decent vantage point.

 _Fuck_.

Turning on her heel, it took her another _sixty_ to find one that was tall enough and scalable and by that point, the sky had darkened considerably to match her mood and with a grunt she hefted herself upwards - and fell back to the ground on her ass because although her upper arm strength had improved from hefting buckets of water for a month, it was another thing _entirely_ to lift her one hundred and forty pound self up. And that wasn't even counting the weight from her bag and her cloak.

Biting her lip she took the two things off and set them on the branch above her - she had to stand on her tippy toes to do so and the weakness in her body made it more difficult than it had to be - and crouched low before lunging up and grabbing hold of the trunk firmly. Wincing as the bark bit into the skin of her palms, Kendrick almost wished that she had brought gloves before she remembered that she had no source of income so she only had enough for the essentials. Swinging her legs to the side, her booted feet met the tree and she used its support to almost walk her way up and onto the branch - and then used its support to walk down because Kendrick knocked her cloak onto the grass below her.

Thankfully the next time she tried no such incident occurred and Kendrick found herself and her things about six feet off of the ground and although she was proud that she even managed to get up there, it wasn't enough. Glancing upwards she eyed the branches above her and nodded grimly. Running one brown hand over her hair, Kendrick knew she had to go higher and was thankful these tree trunks were closer together than the one she just climbed.

The only downside to that was if she - with her weak body - could climb this tree then surely the robust people of Skyrim could do it even better and _wow_ that was a scary thought.

Reaching back Kendrick reaffirmed the presence of her bow and felt a little safer knowing that she had something to protect herself with. Although if someone attacked her and they had an archer too then wouldn't they be able to hit her before she hit them? Kendrick was good for someone who hadn't held a bow in years but these people here lived, ate, and _breathed_ combat - she was hardly competition.

Swallowing, she rubbed the back of her neck and sighed. If worse came to worse then she was glad she had her Thu'um - even if she strongly preferred not to use it when people could see her face.

Gathering her strength she set her things on the branch above her so that she could climb up unhindered and then repeated the process until she was satisfied with her height. Of course, she dropped something or the other and had to climb down and start over but she thought frustration and struggle built character and that was the only reason she didn't try to Fus Roh Dah the goddamn tree down.

Finally nestled up in her vantage point with her bow readied and her pack hanging from the straps on a nearby branch, Kendrick draped her cloak over her lap and was infinitely thankful that it was just on the cleft of summer here and that there were leaves to cover her position.

Leaning back against the tree she gave the horizon a good scan and settled back for the long haul.

Of course, Kendrick was still bitter that she even had to do this in the _first_ place but with everything that happened she was lucky to have gotten away. The only thing she could do now was plan something else and so far she had four viable options.

The first being to head over to the Companions, not to stay but to receive just a bit of training to help herself be more prepared to face danger but that was too risky, maybe too expensive, and they were too famous for her to stay under the radar. First off they were werewolves and she didn't know _what_ they could smell on her. What if she smelled different from other people? What if they could smell lies? And not to mention she wasn't the best at keeping information to herself - and that wasn't to say she couldn't keep secrets or lie! It was just that the outworlder was too casual with her knowledge and she often forgot that she shouldn't know the things that she did.

Shaking her head Kendrick grimaced. She didn't need anybody curious about her and who she was and she was sure somebody in there would ask the wrong question and Kendrick would have to either leave or lie and the Companions didn't seem to take kindly to lying. Oh and let's not forget the fact that the young archer couldn't even muster up the courage to step foot near that city even though it would probably be a good hiding spot because no one would expect her to be living so close to where she was discovered.

Abruptly pausing, the young archer frowned and mulled over her last thought as she furrowed her brow because _perhaps_ Whiterun wasn't the best choice after all. Everyone probably knew everyone in a town like that and a new person appearing might set off a few alarms and on a side note, she didn't have control of her Voice which meant she only had to fuck up _once_ for everything to be a done deal. And ah - Balgruuf _kind_ _of_ scared her so there was _that_ factor.

Giving a brief shiver Kendrick curled up closer to her tree and blinked against the thoughts of what the Jarl would do if he caught her. He didn't seem violent but even the tamest dog would bite if cornered and so with that being said, perhaps the City of Thieves would be a better choice.

Both the guild and the town were full of people who didn't ask questions and couldn't care less about someone's personal life and she could easily roll in and have no one bat an eyelash. And she could either make money doing things for the guild or she would work at a tavern there while living undercover for a bit.

But the problem with that was that the guild definitely would want her to steal real shit and not just a piece of gum or a toy from the corner store - which Kendrick couldn't do, she didn't have the skills for it and perhaps they could teach her but they wouldn't put _that_ much effort into someone who didn't show a lot of promise. And from what she remembered the taverns in Riften were broke and probably couldn't afford to hire new staff which was why they took out loans and the guild were sent as thugs to collect dues.

Oh and Riften was like halfway across Skyrim which means it would take way too long to get to the city, there would definitely be more bandits on the way than normal, and Kendrick didn't have directions and she had no waypoint to help her.

Then there was High Hrothgar and they would give her free board and Voice lessons but going there would require accepting the responsibilities of being Dragonborn and there was _no_ way she was doing that. Once Kendrick went they would stop their scary calling and everyone would know she was there. And once she wanted to leave she would practically have to sneak out because Whiterun would definitely be on the look out for her, just waiting for Kendrick to come back down and she didn't want to deal with that.

No one should.

And finally, she could _still_ go to the College which would be okay if she knew how to get there, could defend her own self and was better dressed for the snow. And if she went to Winterhold and stayed for longer than she thought she would, then she'd be caught up in the Arch Mage's ploys and she didn't want any trouble.

But the same could be said for the Guild and their evil and selfish leader.

Groaning, she thumped her fist to her head and scowled.

This was harder than it had to be and even though every option had its downfall, going to the College was still her best bet at figuring out how to get home. And who knew - maybe she could figure out how to use magic. If she could Shout and end up in this wretched place then surely she could cast spells, after all, everyone in Skyrim seemed to be capable.

But the real question was _how_ to get there.

Kendrick didn't think she could make it on her own and she didn't know the way. There was the chance that she could travel from town to town daily until she reached Winterhold but that was risky. She didn't want to have to fight anyone hand to hand and a lot of bandits used swords - which she knew absolutely _nothing_ of and an archer versus a bunch of blade-toting maniacs equaled a dead Kendrick. And that meant she had to hire people to help her travel like she originally planned but the only safe choice were the Companions and she didn't want to go to Whiterun. And if she Shouted in front of them they would likely get angry.

Kendrick didn't know if the story of a reluctant Dragonborn had spread but it was almost a sure thing and they, as proud Nords and people of Skyrim, would _definitely_ not like that she was willing to let them all die. After all, the Dragonborn was supposed to be a great warrior and all they actually got was a seventeen-year-old girl who _used_ to do archery, _didn't_ go to the gym and preferred minding her _own_ goddamn business.

So yeah, going to the Companions wasn't the best choice.

Biting her lip, she tried her damnedest to remember friendly mercenaries and the only one that kept popping up was Teldryn Sero who had been one of her main compatriots while playing the game. But in order to request his services, it cost about two hundred gold and the trip to get over to Solstheim was even more. And there was no way in _hell_ she was going anywhere near Miraak and Hera-Mora! With the kind of knowledge she held, the Daedric Prince was bound to never let her go and the way she was now she would be easy pickings.

And Solstheim _really_ terrified her.

 _Like for real, for real._

 _God_! All the conclusions she kept reaching were dead ends and it was starting to get _annoying_!

Pausing as she felt her throat tighten and power worm its way up her esophagus, Kendrick clenched her teeth shut, sealed her lips, closed her eyes and breathed out through her nose and waited patiently - as patiently as she could - until the urge to open her mouth and Shout, passed. And as calmly as she could manage, the outworlder let out a sigh and rubbed at her stinging neck and knew she would have to let the next open out into the river but that wasn't so important right now.

Gnawing at her lip, Kendrick fell into deep thought because would she really have to make her own way to Winterhold?

Rubbing a finger on her bow, she _truly_ contemplated doing so and the longer she did, the more she found the idea appealing.

Kendrick didn't _want_ to have to keep relying on the people of Skyrim to get her places and this way, it would only be her who saw her outbursts and she could work on figuring out how to manage her Shouts in privacy. And if she traveled by day Kendrick would be less likely to be attacked - or maybe more likely. Actually, maybe she would be better off traveling at night and planning by day. The dark cover would help her blend in and she would be able to hide better if trouble came her way but on the flip side, Kendrick was a pussy and noises at night scared her.

Jumping as she _swore_ she heard a stick breaking underfoot, she clutched her bow tighter and swallowed.

It scared her just like it was doing _now_.

Shivering as the wind blew, Kendrick flexed her fingers and uneasily settled on heading to College even if she hadn't fully worked out a plan on how to get there.

Perhaps she could even find some books on how to control the Voice or even on how to lock it up or give it away because she didn't _need_ a gift like this once she got home. Power like this was ultimately useless to someone like her and she would rather it waste away than actually put it to use and that was that.

 _Hell_ , if she could give it to some strapping young Nord lad she would! Or even to a Khajiit or an Elf to _really_ throw racism back in the faces of the people of Skyrim - she could just imagine the pandemonium and it was _perfect_.

Nodding to herself, she abruptly tensed when a rumbling in her mind echoed and Kendrick swallowed.

 _ **Hi los sahlo**_ **.** The dragon within her rumbled out and for a second she froze in fear before she licked her lips and squared her jaw.

She didn't need to take his shit.

She _didn't_.

 _Shut the hell up_ **.** She thought back with as much venom as her tired and stressed mind could muster up and she ducked her head when his taunting laughter bounced off the walls of her psyche. Taking care to turn her attention away from him - she didn't need his negativity - Kendrick prayed that there was something at Winterhold to help her out, especially since no one else was an option.

 _Fucking dragons._

So far she figured out that her Shouting fits were brought on by emotional distress. The more out of it she got, the more the urge to Shout became and she supposed it made sense.

It was almost like a survival instinct. She was scared: she shouted. She felt threatened: she shouted. She was stressed: she shouted. It was like her powers as the Dragonborn were trying to keep her alive but it wasn't as effective as it meant to be. Now if she was _actually_ excited to be the Dragonborn, knowing that the urge to Shout came in times of need would be good! And it _still_ was useful but Kendrick didn't want to be found and using her Thu'um because some fucked up kind of instinct was a sure way to be outed.

She had to get to Winterhold as quick as she could.

Her only obstacle that getting _into_ the College seemed to be was the test she had to take. She didn't know how to do magic but if all else came to worse, she'd get another job at a tavern and work while trying to find a teacher to show her the basics. If Kendrick remembered correctly wasn't there a guy who lived in an Inn at Winterhold? He was a mage but he got kicked out or something and was needed on either the Meridia or Azura mission? Or it could be another female Daedric Prince but oh well, that wasn't so important right now.

Pleased that she had _some_ of her plan down, Kendrick settled in her perch and tried her _hardest_ to fight against the fatigue that threatened to overwhelm her.

She had lasted this far and she was sure she could last a bit longer. But as she heard the Greybeards shout for her to come to them - in the dead of night, god that sounded like a demon trying to summon her - Kendrick sincerely hoped she didn't need to last for much longer.

Fuck Skyrim and the war horse it rode in on.

* * *

 **Hilossahlo - you are weak.**

* * *

 **Hey, guys! I'm finally back with a new chapter. Kendrick is turning out to be a favorite character. Also, I agree with Kendrick lol. Solstheim is so scary omg. Everything there wants to kill you and it looks creepy.**

* * *

 **Question 1: What do you think Kendrick should do? Where do you think she should go? Who do you think she should join and why?**

 **Question 2: Do you think Kendrick's plan and reasons for not doing certain things and going yo certain places made sense? Why or why not?**

 **Question 3: Has Kendrick's reactions and actions in Skyrim been realistic so far? How and why? Do you like Kendrick? Why?**

 **Question 4: WhichAedra and Daedric Prince do you think will stumble across Kendrick first? Why? How do you think they would react to her?**

* * *

 **Edit: 6/29/17**


	11. Walking 1000 Miles

**Disclaimer: I don't own Skyrim but I own Kendrick.**

* * *

 ** _This_ \- Thu'um/Words with Power in them.**

 _This -_ Kendrick's thoughts.

* * *

Kendrick woke with a startle that nearly had her falling out of the tree and it was only by the grace of _God_ himself - or was it herself? Themselves? - that she managed to steady herself by grabbing onto the trunk next to her but in the process, her bow dropped and she groaned.

Taking care to scan her surroundings she was glad to realize there was no one near her perch and with an exhale, she forced her taut muscles to relax.

Glancing up at the bright sky - _fuck she wished she had been a scout so that she could read the time by the position of the sun_ \- she straightened up and grabbed both her cloak and pack and wrapped the later in the former and dropped them both down to the ground as carefully as she could. Looking around at the horizon one last time - just to reconfirm her relative location to the nearest body of water - she carefully scaled her way down and wobbled as she hit the dirt on a jump.

Picking up her things - and taking care to check over her bow, quiver and arrows - Kendrick turned to where she knew the river lay and made her way over to wash the sick taste out of her mouth and scrub her face free of sleep before taking several deep swallows of the water - which tasted goddamn heavenly by the way.

 _God, she missed carbonated drinks._

Allowing her face to drip dry, the young archer pulled her pack close before opening it up and taking out a sweet roll - which she ripped in half and put the second piece back inside - and bit into it with an embarrassingly loud groan. Resisting the urge to reach into her pack and pull out the rest of the doughy perfection, the dark-eyed girl instead finished off the chunk clutched in her fingertips with as much vigor as she could muster and turned back to the river to drink until she couldn't anymore.

Kendrick would have to fill herself up with liquids to provide the illusion of fullness for as long as she could because she _needed_ to make this food into something long lasting - especially since she wasn't sure when she'd have a chance to get more. Slinging her cloak on, Kendrick put her bag on frontways, held her bow in her hand with an arrow at the ready, and moved against the flow of the river.

This wasn't a sure way to reach civilization but it was the only lead she had and Kendrick _should_ have gotten a map when she had the chance but it had slipped her mind in the panic. Taking a few seconds to decide against the course of self-reprimand - it wouldn't do anything but make her feel even _more_ like an idiot - she instead elected to focus on finding the next town and subsequently, some directions and provisions.

Huffing as her finger - that was slicked with nervous sweat - slipped on the notch of her arrow, Kendrick cursed and fumbled for the arrow shaft as it tumbled from her fingers. Catching it by the tail, she hastily realigned it and swallowed as she gave a terrified little glance around.

If she ever did that in front of an enemy they would eat her alive and laugh at her mangled corpse.

Shivering Kendrick tightened her grip on her weapon and marched forward.

Dark eyes flitting around as she tried her best to keep watch, the young archer - _despite the fact that she was physically and mentally incapable of giving a flying fuck about Skyrim and its splendors_ \- found herself a little daunted at the prosperity of the forest that surrounded her.

Having been a city girl back in her world and still one while in Nirn, Kendrick hadn't ever spent much of her time with nature save the local parks she frequented in Denver and now that she was faced with the - and fine would stop being a bitch and admit it - _beauty_ of Skyrim's outdoors, she realized just how out of depth she really was. Kendrick had no idea how to actually _survive_ out here aside from her own personal speculations and second-hand knowledge taken from half-assed camping trips and with a sharp swallow Kendrick realized that she had no choice but to figure it out.

She had to acclimate to her situation in spite of her ineptitude, she had to make herself into the outdoorsy girl she _never_ thought she would have to be - for at least a little while anyway - because _reasons_ and she internally lamented never getting into track and field like her family - fuck she missed them - told her to.

Having some sporty experience under her belt would really make her feel better or at the very least, a bit more prepared.

 _Damn you hindsight and you as well laziness._

* * *

That night she took refuge in another tree but refused to fall asleep because Kendrick _swore_ on her life that she heard voices out in the dark - and surprise, surprise! - she actually had.

It was a group of men and women clad in almost ragtag but undeniably sturdy armor and the moment her eyes snagged onto the weapons hanging in their waists, the young archer could feel something cold slither into her veins that choked her into silence.

And its icy clutches kept its grip on her vocal cords long after the bandits disappeared from her sight and Kendrick was _shaken to her core._

She didn't sleep until the sun peaked over the horizon but even then it wasn't much.

* * *

Kendrick ended up shouting with her head underwater several times in the span of maybe thirty minutes and all three times were attributed to her acute sense of paranoia and anxiety.

She needed to get out of this part of the forest stat.

All the shadows and groaning trees weren't good for her mental health.

* * *

Walking made her body hurt and bugs kept landing on the parts of her brown skin that was bare to the sun and it was _irritating_ her.

She was tired. Her feet swelled up in her boots to a painful degree and she was _sweating her hair out of its braid_. Kendrick was sweating so fucking much and this was only her second day - and third night - trekking out. Her plait was mangled and fizzy and she didn't have the heart to even attempt to untangle that rats nest with any hair products for her curls or the sanctity of safety.

Fuck she missed deodorant.

And Shea butter creams.

And cars.

And literally any general luxury.

Scowling as her boot caught against an upturned rock - her fault for letting her exhaustion make her drag her feet - Kendrick could feel her frustration mount and with a harsh swallow she counted to twenty and forced herself to relax.

Her throat burned with the effort.

 **Sahlo.** A dark voice rumbled and Kendrick froze for a millisecond before scuffling forward.

"Yeah yeah, fuck you too."

* * *

Avoiding any possible threats grew to be damn near dangerous - with how she threw herself into shrubs and scrambled over hazardous terrain at literally the slightest of sounds, Kendrick was surprised that she hadn't broken something.

Nevertheless, it was better to be cautious than dead because she assumed what she heard wandering around was benevolent and not malicious.

* * *

Trudging on for she didn't know how long - Kendrick always stopped counting her steps somewhere in the nine hundreds because she kept messing up - the young girl didn't so much as decide to take a break as she was surprised into doing so by the appearance of a road.

It was ways away but sure enough, Kendrick knew cobblestone when she saw it.

Pausing as she looked at the river to her left and back at the street, the young outworlder knew she had to make a decision.

It was either follow the stream or follow the laid path and with a bit of chagrin, Kendrick chose the road. _Sure_ it was likely more dangerous since intelligent threats would know people took those routes but it was more of a sure way to run into civilization and Kendrick needed to find a town.

 _Now_.

Kendrick could still sleep in a tree at night to be safe and if she got really scared she could walk in the surrounding woods beside the street - that was until the forest thinned out because then she was all on her own, and that was a thought she didn't want to dwell on just yet.

Thinning her lips, Kendrick looked at the river next to her and bent down to drink until her stomach hurt and then took a few more gulps to be sure. She didn't know when she'd find another water source and Kendrick found herself wishing she had brought a bottle or waterskin to keep something to drink in.

A human could survive a few days without water if they had nothing to eat - which she did since she was strict on her intake but it was dwindling down - but pee was sterile if all else failed.

Minutely she grimaced at the thought but knew if it came down to it she'd happily drink piss to survive.

She wasn't going to die here.

 _She wasn't._

 _ **Dinok bo fah pah**_ **,** The voice in her head drawled and she stiffened. _**nuz fah hi, nii aal bo neliik.**_

And as she opened her mouth to snappishly demand to know what he said, she instead paused, narrowed her tree bark eyes, and muttered out a harsh "I don't want to know" to which the creature laughed something loud and dark.

 _God dammit she hated Skyrim._

* * *

 **Sahlo - weak.**

 **Dinok bo fah pah nuz fah hi, nii aal bo neliik - Death comes for all but for you it may come quicker.**

* * *

 **Aah it's been so long! Sorry for the wait! This story will never be abandoned fyi I was just busy.**

 **Basically, this is filler but not really since she's trying to make her way to the nearest town. Personally, I think this chapter shows that despite the fact that Kendrick did plan very well and is capable of having a handle on things, she didn't think of all the variables (like getting a map, having a waterskin etc etc) so it balances out. Esp since she's struggling so hard out in the wild with all her paranoia, body aches, and dwindling resources.**

 **Also, Mir is being a dick by only speaking Dovah to her lol, Kendrick is gonna get tired of that real quick.**

 **Oh and on a side note, some people don't like Kendrick bc they feel that she's too wimpy and sucks for not wanting to be the Dragonborn which makes no sense high key. Are you telling me you'd wanna risk your life for a world that's not your own? If Nirn was Earth then yeah! Ken would step up much more easily but as of now, she has no reason to since she wants to go home.**

 **Eventually she'll buck up (I have a whole plan as to how and why she accepts being the Dragonborn and it's not out of the goodness of her heart for sure!) so pls wait for that lol.**

* * *

 **Question 1: If you fell into Skyrim, what would you do and why? Who would you want to meet and who would you want to help you fight? Kendrick wants Teldryn Sero lol, he was her fav.**

 **Question 2: Kendrick is going to meet a canon character next chapter, any guesses as to who?**

 **Question 3: What do you think about how she's traveling? Is it smart? Is she doing well? Why or why not?**

 **Question 4: If you could, what advice would you give Kendrick on her situation and why? What praise would you give her and why? And what reprimand would you give her and why?**

 **Question 5: Do you think Kendrick is a realistic insert into Skyrim? Why or why not?**

* * *

 **Thank you for reading! And if you ever wanna talk Skyrim with me feel free to send me a PM!**


	12. Handprints

" **This** / _this_ "- Mental speech.

 _ **"This"**_ \- Dragon tongue/Thu'um.

* * *

Kendrick didn't happen upon a person more so that she stumbled across the evidence that there was or had been one near.

Blinking in confusion at the sight of a carriage like thing a few yards away from where she was cresting the hill, Kendrick paused and looked behind her for no discernable reason other than for her peace of mind.

Swallowing she internally debated whether or not she should investigate or run past and ignore whatever was happening - if something even _was_ and with the nervous gnawing of her lip, she let herself consider the options.

Dark eyes skittered towards the expense of road and then back to the carriage several times before she allowed the ache in her feet to make her take three short steps closer to the wagon and with a sigh she knew she had made her decision.

Trepidation dug its claws into the base of her spine but the mere idea that she wouldn't have to continue trekking her way to the nearest town made her want to cry in relief and so, despite the fact that her paranoia was choking her Kendrick neared the wagon and swept a critical look around the area while debating whether or not she should call out and risk getting attacked or not call out and end up with the getting attacked if the owner of the buggy came back and saw her lurking.

Grimacing, Kendrick didn't know why each option ended in death since she knew not every entity in Skyrim was violent but really, with the way she was right now it was better to consider every stranger a threat even if she was possibly passing by an opportunity of a companion.

And with that in mind, she decided to keep her mouth shut, see what she could make of this situation and then decide whether or not she should keep moving forward. Her bark colored gaze dragged over the large box situated in the back pickup truck like platform and for a moment, the unwilling Dragonborn felt something inside of her shift uneasily at the sight.

It looked like a coffin but it _couldn't_ be that right?

No one would be stupid enough to just _leave_ a fucking _coffin_ in the middle of the street.

 _Right_?

Shifting from foot to foot she slung her bow over her left shoulder not unlike how she'd do a purse and stepped ever closer to the box. It had almost taken all her willpower to lift her hands up from their idle position and make them touch the dark wood on the side but when she did, she immediately felt disgusting - _because there could be a fucking dead body in that bitch_ \- and glanced up at the top of it.

Stubbornly pushing away the grotesque sensation bubbling in her gut Kendrick allowed her naturally curious nature to take hold and decided that the only way to know what was inside was to _look_.

Huffing to herself Kendrick bit at her lip before hooking a foot onto the available space on the back of the wagon and lifted herself up so that she could look down at the lid and with a rising sense of disappointment and relief, she noted the locks lining the side.

Taking a moment to flick one of them, she contemplated attempting to find a rock and smash the deadbolts open before the rational part of her mind vehemently rejected the idea and Kendrick felt her need to know what was hidden inside of there wither and die.

If there was someone out there and they came back while she was breaking into their shit, she wouldn't have anyone to blame for getting shanked but her own goddamn self.

A freshly turned seventeen-year-old girl from a small town didn't need to go around putting herself on anyone's shit list. Not now. Not ever.

Quietly Kendrick took another glance at the rather large box - which despite its shape didn't, in fact, make it a coffin - and reasoned that _maybe_ it was a crate full of weapons or _maybe_ this was how people moved house and they had clothes and other personal possessions in there - and by proxy _not_ a fucking dead body.

Nodding to herself the young archer moved to jump down when she swore - _she fucking swore on everything she held dear and near to her heart_ \- that she heard a loud thump - not unlike a knock - coming from behind her but it was - muffled? Like the sound was covered in cotton and distantly she realized it didn't echo like it would if she had struck her knuckles against the wooden surface. No - it was _hollow_ and she wasn't one who liked to think like she came straight from a horror movie survival guide - _she was lying, Kendrick definitely did_ \- but it seemed like it came from _inside_ the fucking _giant box_ that _uncomfortably_ mimicked a _goddamn coffin_.

Swallowing she didn't bother looking back and quickly scrambled off the wagon's back and whirled around the face the thing before sighing in relief at seeing nothing out of order.

Not a single zombie or demon in sight, thank the lord.

"Okay, we're done here." She announced feeling slightly stupid at doing so as she rounded the side of the wagon towards where the horse was and glanced around for signs of any humanoid life before focusing on the animal.

Kendrick may not know anything about how to ride horses but she had seen enough horse movies to have an inkling and while she didn't want to steal a person's only method of transportation for all she knew the owner was dead or worse and with that she made her decision and stepped forward - only to jump back when the damn thing reared in the air and neighed loudly.

"Sshh!" Kendrick hushed as panic made her flustered and she raised her arms as if to calm it. "Please oh my fucking god - _stop_ it! _Ssh_!"

Its giant body bucked in something she pinned as anger as its cries grew harsh and sharp and the young archer felt her heart stop and lurch.

" _Shit_!" Kendrick cursed as she gave up the ghost, darted to the left and jumped over the stone wall separating the road from the grassland and kneeled behind it as a cover.

Her heart was pounding in her chest and the huff of her harsh exhales sounded louder despite her determined attempts to suppress them. Her shoulder dug into the wall painfully as she tried to parse _why_ she had done what she just did - there didn't seem to be anyone around save for a few trees and rocks so she shouldn't have felt the need to hide.

Running away would have made more sense but since she had already gone through with the action she had to commit and minutely she grimaced. Crouching down out of view was doing fuck all for her nerves - maybe she should have booked it when she had the chance.

Shifting in her position as adrenaline rushed through her veins, she waited and stained hard for the sound of footsteps or anything of the like to let her know if someone was near but when the animal noises died down there was nothing but the wind.

Nevertheless, something inside her refused to settle down and the heat in her chest spasmed.

Her breathing seemed to get shallower with every spike of fear as her vision tunneled and suddenly her heartbeat - and everything else - grew so loud it hurt her eardrums. The pulsing of the organ was steady and rhythmic against her ear that she felt almost exposed. Startling she stiffened with a low hiss as the sound of the skies and the shotgun like clomping of the horse made her wince.

 ** _Hi nis haalit hin meyar honah_.**

Jolting at the words, she steadfastly ignored him and tried to listen past her probable auditory hallucination and froze as something rustled to her left and with a reaction time that left her stunned, Kendrick whirled around with her teeth bared but faltered when she noticed it was only a tiny black bird in a nearby tree that caused the ruckus.

 _ **Hi faas rinik frin Dovnaak.**_ Mirmu - the dragon, she hastily corrected with a flinch. The _dragon_ growled but she kept her attention outward.

Relief crashed through her like a bullet as she pressed her hand to her chest in an attempt at placation because _fuck she was freaking herself out for nothing_! - when she noticed it.

Or rather, when she _felt_ it.

It was her heartbeat, Kendrick frowned as she paused and shifted her palm more firmly to her sternum to feel the frantic tattoo it was beating out on her ribs.

 _It was her heartbeat and she wondered why the one she was hearing, did not match the one in her body._

 ** _Koraavnu miin lost kosaan bex_ , **The dragon inside her rumbled. **You have finally asked a question worth answering in your weak tongue.**

And in that moment Kendrick hadn't exactly parsed out the situation - not fully at any rate - but when the steady beating suddenly spiked in tempo, the wind whistled sharply, and instincts she didn't know she had screamed ' _danger, danger!'_ " she threw herself to the side and felt her stomach drop at the clang of metal on stone.

Her muscles had tensed and latched onto her bones and she could feel her throat tingling and with a swallow, she resisted the urge to glance around like a jackass and instead scrambled to her feet and did what she did best when faced with danger.

She bolted -

And was caught through the leg with something razor sharp.

"Mother _fucker_!" She shouted with a near hysterical edge as she tumbled to the ground and clutched at her knee.

At the lethal pain radiating from her calf - _oh god it was so bad she was gonna throw up_ \- fat tears gathered in her eyes and slipped past her lashes as she turned the harsh sobs that threatened to crawl out of her mouth into tremulous swear words and ragged half screams.

Gazing down with water blurred eyes to the silver sticking out of her fucking calf - _Jesus Christ was she going to have to cut it off? Was it lame now? She couldn't survive without both her goddamn legs!_ \- Kendrick fluttered her fingers around the wound in an attempt to somehow soothe the hurt when a sinuous voice cut through the air and made her flinch.

"Ooh, _what_ do we have _here_? A little bird with her wings clipped perhaps?" Someone purred, words drenched in something close to whimsy and sharp ends that made her blood chill and her skin goose-pimple in terror and Kendrick found herself shifting as if to stand when another blade flew to the left of her hand and she gave a short scream of fright.

"Wouldn't move if you had any inclination to live through this _little bird_." The voice giggled and she couldn't stop staring at the weapon wedged in the ground inches from her _fucking fingers_ but found her attention pulled away when the dagger was wrenched out from the tender flesh of her leg.

She screamed high and loud and the air rumbled with her agony.

" _Fuck, fuck, fuck_!" She hiccuped out as she rolled around on the floor with her palms cradling her bloody gash that bled sick warmth over her knuckles. " _ **Fuck**_!"

Blinking rapidly through the haze of film covering her thoughts, she swallowed down the bile that climbed up her throat and she keened highly as suffering danced along her nerve endings.

She was going to bleed out.

She was going to _bleed out_ and _die here_.

 _She couldn't let that happen._

Blindly the brain-addled archer grabbed at the dagger that was kept in the sheath at her waist and pulled it out, fumbling with it for a moment until it dropped to the floor and she hissed out a breath. Picking it up with a firmer grip she tugged off her cloak and let out a guttural watery groan at how her movements pulled at her bleeding leg before she was finally free. The long cloth trailed over the ground as she tightened her fingers around her knife and painstakingly - _clumsily_ _and_ _with trembling fingers_ \- cut a horizontal strip of her cloak off from the bottom. Kendrick moved to bring her injured leg closer for inspection as she paused and decided to just wrap it up before she lost any more blood.

 _She didn't think she could handle looking at it just yet._

 _If the damage was something she couldn't fix Kendrick didn't know what she would do._

Sucking in a deep breath as she blinked soured tears from her eyes, the outworlder gritted her teeth and grabbed both ends of the cotton strip and carefully but firmly placed the middle directly on the wound.

Swallowing down the howl that brewed angrily in her throat she instead let out a choked whimper and crossed the two opposite ends around the back of her leg tightly until she had just enough of the makeshift bandage left to tie a knot. Feeling sweat drip down the nape of her neck to her jaw, Kendrick pressed her forehead to her bent knee and let out a shuddering breath as she subtlety tried to flex the muscles of her leg.

She needed to be able to put weight on it or she was dead.

 _So very fucking dead._

Jolting as a hum came from her right - _because_ _fucking hell, she should not have forgotten that the asshole who hurt her in the first place was still in the vicinity no matter how much duress she was under!_ \- Kendrick pushed aside any thoughts chastising her about her situational awareness and instead grabbed her dagger, scrambled to her left towards the stone wall and hefted herself up with one hand while her other held her blade in the general direction of the threat.

" _S-stay back_!" She yelped as she struggled to right herself. "You stay _away_ from me you fucking _psychopath_!"

The tightness in her throat was back and it grew ever tighter when she _finally_ got a good look at the person who had maimed her and with a shuddering whimper, her grip on her weapon wavered.

" _Oh god_ ," She breathed out, dread swirling in her lungs. "That blade you pulled out of me was _poisoned_ , wasn't it? I'm - I'm going to _die_ aren't I?"

And when Cicero - _the fool of hearts, Keeper to the Dark Brotherhood, and insane killer_ \- merely cocked his head to the side and took a step forward, Kendrick found herself nearly tumbling to the ground in an effort to keep the distance between them.

" _Wait wait wait_!" She interjected frantically as she held up her hands, palms outward as if to simultaneously calm him down and keep him away. "I can _help_ you - just - _just_ \- _please_ wait a goddamn _minute_!"

And on some miracle unknown to her, Cicero _stopped_ in his approach and tilted his head to the other side before purposefully moving his acid and honey eyes from her blade to her face and back again with an almost curious look on his face and with a swallow she made a decision that panned out into a risk she knew she would regret no matter what the outcome.

Taking a moment to level her breathing, she pushed down the fire in her chest and forced her muscles to relax around her bones.

"I'm...I'm going to put this away." She said loudly and slowly. "And then I'm going to close the button on the sheath around the blade."

Another head tilt.

"Why not just rid yourself of the handpiece entirely then little bird?" The assassin chirped in his unsettling speech pattern - _how could he sound so joyful while she stood bleeding and terrified_ \- and Kendrick stiffened up at the sound before she forced herself to relax.

"...It would take me three to six seconds to unsheath my blade and you one to use yours to end me where I stand." She said on a flimsy almost whisper. "So I'm not even going to pretend that putting the whole thing on the floor would make you feel less threatened or like you could take me with your eyes closed."

And at that, Cicero gave her a cheery smile that made her think of drowning puppies and strangling children before she swallowed a second time and made a show of sheathing her long dagger.

Blowing out a strained breath she focused on the tension in her chest and neck and resolved that if need be and there was nothing that she said would stop him from hurting her then she would play the Dragonborn card.

After all, if she died then so did he and his merry band of murderers.

"Now," She said slowly as she steeled her nerves. " _please_ just let me -"

There was a blade at her neck and Kendrick felt a few more tears wash down her face before she swallowed and turned her eyes skyward and away from the eyes that were surely staring into her soul.

"...talk." She finished softly as her eyes shimmered and blurred her vision. " _Please don't fucking kill me_."

There was a pause and she shivered and took a gamble.

"You're trying to get home right?" She asked breathlessly, heart caught halfway in her mouth as she prayed to all the gods she knew - both in Tamriel and out - that this fucking _worked_. "If - if you are I can _help_ you - after all, you want your beloved _Mother_ safe behind guild walls don't you?"

Her dark eyes snapped down to his and she shivered at the look they carried but it was too late to take back her words - it was all or nothing.

 _"Don't you, Cicero_?"

* * *

 _ **Hi faas rinik frin Dovnaak - you scare very eagerly dragon eater.**_

 _ **Hi nis haalit hin meyar honah. - You cannot handle your own senses.**_

 _ **Koraavnu miin lost kosaan bex - blind eyes finally see.**_

* * *

 **Oh shit! Kendrick might be in some shit!**

 **How many people expected Cicero? And how many people low key kinda like him? (Me lol). But the dude is scary. If I met Cicero irl I would definitely call the cops and avoid him. But I picked him because I wanted to be unique with the first big league character meeting since people usually pick the Stormcloaks or the Companions which makes no sense to me at least.**

 **Usually, people who fall into Skyrim go for the Companions like that shit wouldn't be hard to get into. And like yeah, you can pay for training but despite the game mechanics, magic trumps a sword any day. And actually joining I'm sure would be difficult and would take time and since I'm aiming to make Skyrim realistic, Kendrick wouldn't have been able to join for a while because of who she is and how she acts. Kendrick as of now is not Companion material and accepting that you're apart of the Companions means Werewolf and Kendrick no likey because um, enslaved to a Daedric lord?**

 **And not to mention, joining the Companions is definitely a long-term decision that requires commitment and the acceptance that one will be in Skyrim long enough to complete the training and Kendrick isn't ready for that yet. She will eventually accept that she's staying until further notice though! (in like 3-7 chapters lol).**

 **Hope this made sense lol.**

 **Also to clarify she didn't know the wagon was for the night mother because she never met Cicero on the side roads when Kendrick played Skyrim. And no they aren't near the farms yet. Cicero wasnt near the wagon for a reason. Also yes, Kendrick was hearing Cicero's heartbeat and she didn't hear the horses because of her range. She heard the heartbeat because she has times where stress makes her access draconian attributes. The first showing of this was when she absorbed her first dragon soul and her eyesight and hearing helped her detect the guard drawing his weapon. The whistling she heard was the knife being thrown.**

* * *

 **Question 1: What do you think of this chapter? Good bad? Why why not?**

 **Question 2: What do you think of her meeting Cicero? Why? What possibilities do you think will arise? What kind of complications?**

 **Question 3: What do you think Kendrick is trying to pull by letting Cicero know that she knows? Any guesses as to what her plan may be?**

 **Question 4: What do you think will happen next chapter?**

 **Question 5: Just plain old tell me your honest thoughts on the story, its character, and its progress!**

* * *

 **Thank you for sticking with me!**


	13. I Need Help N Thats Why I Havent Updated

hi lads, im cherryvvoid and lately ive been really absent from and i really need help.

Ive been kicked out of home, dropped out of college bc I cant afford it. My laptop broke. Me and my mom fought and she kicked me out so Im living in an apartment i used the last of my savings to get. I had to quit my job bc my old friends i stayed with when i got kicked out are stalking and harassing me so I cant go back (the girlfriend worked next door to the job I quit). i dont have wifi where im at yet and i only have my phone to write from since my laptop broke (which is another reason I haven't been able to write) and im really stressed out lol!

my dad isnt any help since he had his new child he always wanted so thats a dead end and I havent ever been close to anyone else sadly.

And I know its alot to ask of you guys especially when I haven't been updating but this is the only platform where I really have followers or anyone to listen. if any of you are kind enough to donate literally anything to this gofundme I made (this is a last ditch effort, been stressing for months guys) it would help me out so so sooo much!

 **Please no one say anything mean i beg you, im already not feeling great about myself so please be kind! you can unfollow me if youd like, I dont mind just please be nice!** (also i just picked a random goal number bc i didnt know we had to do that!)

 _ **IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO DONATE THE LINK IS ON MY PROFILE IN MY BIO. I REPEAT THE LINK TO HELP ME OUT IS IN MY BIO.**_

once again, please be kind!

ill try to drop the actual link below but if it doesnt work im really sorry lads!

www . gofundme . com. / ily-ladstysmalso-we-have-to-choose-a-goal

(((im also going to post this to all my stories, thank you for being so understanding)))


	14. hiatus note please read lads

Hi. Firstly i wanna apologize for uploading the notes all at once. i honestly forgot i had like tonsssss of stories in one catergory so this time ill upload this notice to all my stories slowly n over the next couple weeks.

But yes. Im going on a hiatus.

Things are very stressful for me right now in real life as most of you know and i cant really focus.

also alot of you sent me reallly hateful pms so yeah. that also told me a needed to take a break.

but im not gonna let this be about that. i originally was going to tell them off bc this is free media i make that everyone consumes in more rude ways but im kinda tired you know?

so i really want to thank all the kind readers for helping me and supporting me through really troubling times and ill still be writing when i find the time while im gone from ff. so when i do come back itll be w steady updates.

but for right now as much as it pains me to do, im gonna go on hiatus. earliest i can see myself stable and able to return is by june? after my bday in may probably. latest is christmas but ill try to keep it from getting too long.

im still struggling w my home life and literally everything and if any of you still would be willing to help out n donate heres the link to my gofundme w the story about the situation attached:

 **www . gofundme . com. / ily-ladstysmalso-we-have-to-choose-a-goal**


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